Klington's Special Spam Jam JUDA FANTASTICA

[Aersoldorf]

I need some new jam buddies

[Duckyian Empire]

Jam buddies? I'll go get the jam for the toast!

[Aersoldorf]

It helps if you read the entire thread first

[Tanzoria]

Why? its not like the story makes any sense

[Aersoldorf]

Lies

[Duckyian Empire]

I tried to, but this is a spam thread?

[Aersoldorf]

Don't go Gunny on us, :-)

It's more of an insane story threa

Some get it, some don't

[Ater Nox]

Does this thread need to be resurrected?

[Aersoldorf]

Absolutely

[Ater Nox]

It's a shame BCS isn't around, he was great at this

[Aersoldorf]

Yeah, we need a new foe to foil

[Barry]

Man, I love this thread! But I can't do it sober. I'll come back after I've had a couple of bourbons.

[Aersoldorf]

It's a date, see you tonigth

Ugh, maybe I'm a few up on you already

[Barry]

[Aersoldorf]

*stumbles in and looks for the butter*

*reconsiders and looks for the belter*


*thinks about it some more and scans the island for the buffer*

*finally gives up and falls asleep on the beach*

[Barry]

I didn't realize that one Bourbon too many can make you fall asleep on your keyboard before the sun goes down.

Then next time I drink I'll have to remember the suntan lotion.

[Maguai]

The Ugly Little Moogle lay face down in the sand, letting the waves wash the butter from his feet, his quest for the Son of Spam all but forgotten. How had he let the were-camels sneak up on him like that? It wasn't like him to ignore the smell of bacon ice cream...the smell of sin. A life time of training, and he'd almost let it all slip through his ragged little flipper hands, what would his uncle think of him now? He'd probably marvel at his ability to look so silky smooth while laying burnt and broken on a dirty beach in what looked like downtown Anchorage, but was more likely somewhere in Germany. His resolve firming, the Ugly Little Mlagle stood up and looked around. Today was not the day that the were-camels would win. No, today was the day they would think they won, but secretly they would only be winning a little. Then he would recover, and take the fight to them, where he would probably, mostly not win again. But he was like the ragged taste of syrup drizzled over a charred lump of cabbage, and he'd force himself so far down camel throat that they'd be singing High Finnish operas for like 10 minutes, tops. His dignity still in tatters, and dripping a buttery shame glaze, the Ugly Little Morple started to slink away into the trees, his quest for the one true SauCe reignited in the depths of his thighs. He would find the s.p.a.m. and its faithful agents, and he would free his people from the tyranny of breakfast. And if he was lucky, he'd get to punch a camel right in it's stupid knees.

[Ater Nox]

Aersoldorf, this thread is back in business!

[Maguai]

Tell me, young Nox, who this Aerosol-dwarf might be and how might he aid me in my quest for the Sauce, also known as the Son of Spam? Might he gird my loins with copious amounts of deodorant, that I may fight and pretend to slay were-camels while emitting a fresh mountain scent? Dwarves are notorious fighters, but I'm sure that most of that reputation is made up. Everyone knows that short people don't know how to use their arms. What we really need to get this quest moving is a Butler. My uncle always stated that a good Butler is worth two in the bush, but he like to watch some weird lady stuff, so I don't know what that has to do with anything. Even so! Let us sleep on this, but only momentarily, for in dreams lie the King of Camels, and he will soak you in his sinful ice cream glaze if you stray too long in his realm. I learned that on TMZ, and once I even felt it. Though to be truthful, that time was because I filled the tub with Neapolitan ice cream and bacon bits. As training, you see. JUDGE ME NOT, MISCREANT, LEST YE BE FUDGED BY THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SNOW CONE! But seriously people, the smell of sin is everywhere. Look for camels.

[Coreyo]

May 11, 2014 5:27:40 GMT -5 Barry said:

I didn't realize that one Bourbon too many can make you fall asleep on your keyboard before the sun goes down.

Then next time I drink I'll have to remember the suntan lotion.

Get a 50 SPF.

[Barry]

I was out washing my car the other day. You know, the one with the dented fenders and faded blue color on the trunk? Anyway, I was thinking of directions, like up, down, north, south, and why they have to be that way. I mean, why is the sky considered up? If you were in space looking at the earth would you really know north-south? It could be that all the earth globe models in the world are really upside down. Or maybe they're tilted 90 degrees the wrong way, or least 36 degrees. How do birds know to fly up anyway? Why don't they borrow into the ground, find the Hallow Earth and fly around "up" there? Maybe they'd do better that way since there's a lot more worms in the ground than the sky. Makes sense. More protein available would naturally lead to advanced evolution. Parakeets could rule the world some day if they play their cards right. Speaking of cards, I played some poker the other night. I won every hand. Next time I'm going to invite some other dudes over to play with me. Anybody seen my car shammy?

[Confederacy of Swapothia]

2016 BCE:

Three men are walking through modern day Anatolia and none of them speak any Spanish.

A satyr emerges from the wood-line and says, "hey! Three-men!" with maniacal intent. Three-men turns around and looks the Satyr dead in the eye and says, "Mejor ahora que te conoci."

And that is why you never, ever.

[Boltor]

Aersoldorf Louisistan

Art never dies.

[Louisistan]

Honestly, I was never sure what to do with this thread.

[Ater Nox]

You just gotta jam

[Aersoldorf]

Being drunk helps

[Louisistan]

These days I tend to not get drunk at home. And when I return home drunk I tend to go to bed without spamming here first. But I'll bookmark it just in case

[Aersoldorf]

I quit drinking altogether

[Louisistan]

Good on you.

[Aersoldorf]

It was for the best