Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2014 17:27:24 GMT -5
I disagree. Orientation is a choice. There may be some determining factors that drive a person towards an alternative lifestyle, I'm just saying that they aren't born that way, contrary to what Ms. Gaga would have us believe.
This is a tricky subject, really. Yes, you can decide if you want to be gay or straight anytime you want, but you can't choose if you actually are that contrary to saying that you are.
In other words, I can decide tomorrow that I'm straight, go out, and try to do things with a woman. However, even if I attempted to try, I wouldn't enjoy it. The entire experience would feel awkward, and I'm pretty sure I'd be thinking about guys the entire time to try to make it work. Likewise, if most actually straight guys went out there and had the experience, it'd be a similar experience I'm sure, except they'd be thinking about women the entire time. If they found themselves enjoying it and not having to use visuals? Well...they probably weren't actually straight and were still in questioning mode, but were claiming one until they knew for sure.
So yes, if I was still consciously thinking about guys the entire time, I might be able to make it work, but outside of that, it wouldn't.
Let me put it another way:
I didn't officially come to terms with who I was until my college years. I had my first homosexual experience with one of my good friends when I was just starting middle school, and it changed part of me completely. I realized that I couldn't stop thinking about guys, and I learned that I had started checking them out in a way that I'd never done before. I'd still had girlfriends all the way until the end of community college, but the entire time I'd never done anything with them; it never felt right. My high school girlfriend was pushing me to at least make out with her, and I only ever felt comfortable with a simple quick-second kiss. When I finally did do the actual kiss with my best friend (also a girl), it didn't feel right with her at all. When I had my first boyfriend and we shared the kiss, it felt completely natural and beautiful.
The reason I believe that it woke up that part of me and I was unsure about it at first was because it's something I've never seen before. My mom and dad have been the example for all of my life, all of their friends I've met were married to the opposite sex, and everyone I've seen on TV was straight. I didn't even know what homosexuality WAS until late in high school, and I was afraid to approach guys because I didn't want to be found as "weird/odd" for being attracted to someone in the same gender.
So in a small tiny aspect, yes, it does fall into choice as far as parents choosing to let their kids know what homosexuality even is. If I had grown up without the experiences or knowing anything about it? Sure, I could be in a straight relationship right now and even married, but it would most likely be a typical bad relationship to where I'd be going behind her back and doing other things because something just doesn't "feel" right to me to where I'm actually satisfied.
Back to the topic at hand though, in some aspects I do feel like we have free will, but in others I'm more inclined to believe in fate. I feel like I've been in many instances to where things will just suddenly pick up more and more to where it's just too good to be true: I'll do mediocre in school but somehow still be able to pass, I'll do great in college but somehow still miss a single class to get my BA, I'll find that not getting that BA was actually good to where I'll get a completely different job because of it (one I've been actually wanting), I'll learn that the job I've been really wanting would actually be a nightmare to be in unless I was a certified teacher (did I mention the BA I went for was the one I chose on top of going the teacher route?), EVERY time I applied to the Navy, I was always denied (and not because of them, either), and then I learned that if I had gone into the Navy, I wouldn't have met my current boyfriend of almost 3 months nor would I have moved to where I'm at to have actually met him, nor would I have met one of my most awesome friends (who unfortunately passed), nor would I have been here for my boyfriend when that friend did pass, nor would I have gotten the job I did while living over here to help with supporting all of us, and my boyfriend would probably be in a worse place now, since he's picked up an awful lot and gotten out of his funk ever since I've been here to really help bring him out of it.
So yes, in ways I feel like the choices we make are a part of free will, I also do think that the outcome of those choices has already been predetermined.