XKI Thespian Society

[Barry]

There are many Islanders whose acting abilities have gone unnoticed and unappreciated for far too long a time. Indeed, they have portrayed some of the greatest characters in all of NationStates. And now, they have all finally involuntarily gathered together to form the “XKI THESPIAN SOCIETY”.

This little endeavor is intended to provide our exceedingly gifted Island colleagues with a forum - or a “stage”, as it were – on which to display their considerable acting talents and skills.

So without further ado, please accept the following as one humble Critic’s Reviews of their theatrical offerings.

[Barry]

Movie: NIGHT OF THE LIVING CLUELESS

STARRING: Wordy, Benevolent Thomas, and Aersoldorf
Co-Starring: Ater Nox and Ducky
Gratuitous Nudity: Woonsocket

PLOT: Ranch hands working on a free range penguin farm in Coober Pedy, South Australia, battle zombie hordes.

RATING: 4.7 Ananke muffins out of 5



MOVIE TRAILER

(Scene: Old farm house. Wordy, BT, and Aerso are looking down wooden stairs into a dark basement.)

BT: Let’s all go down into this dark basement.

Wordy: No. I’m too scantily clad.

Aerso: We won’t take the flashlight then.

Wordy: Okay.

BT: Here Aerso. Hold the shotgun. *gives Aerso shotgun* I’ll start on this broken top step.
*falls through step into basement and is impaled on rusty dryer vent*

Aerso: That didn't go well.

Wordy: Do you think BT’s a zombie yet?

Aerso: I don’t know. Let’s go down and look.

Wordy: No. My skirt’s too short for stairs.

Aerso: Ok. I’ll go. You stay here. Take the shotgun. *hands shotgun to Wordy*
*steps forward, crashes to basement, lodging head in goldfish bowl, and suffocates.

Wordy: Aerso? BT?....Are you guys zombies yet?

*hears growling and banging on front door behind her, turns*

Wordy: I’ll be right there! *starts toward door, nervously clutching shotgun*

*more intense growling and banging on front door*

Wordy: Okay, okay! Coming!!

*leans shotgun against wall and starts to open door*

(-fade to black-)


TWO SENTENCE REVIEW

An instant XKI cult classic. The movie’s opening road rage scene set in New York City, where the p*ssed-off zombie bus driver (Ater Nox) attacks the cabbie (Ducky) and rips out his vocal chords – while a naked zombie (Woon) haltingly “streaks” across the street in the background - will have you on your feet howling approval!

Until next time…
Don’t forget to turn off your cell phone!

[Woonsocket]

Um - that's all the nudity I get? A brief cameo? And I got all worked up about Wordy being in a Thespian movie, until I looked up what Thespian means. I was SO disappointed...

[Wordy]

Funny story....not the first time a short skirt has saved my life

You KNOW I am gonna open the door.....might be a Naked Woon out there.

[Woonsocket]

Damn...and after I bribed donated all those tacos to Barry to set things up, too... I guess all that experience sussing out bad guys stood you in good stead.

I'll get you yet, my pretty! At least a bull can always hope!

[Benevolent Thomas]

I like to believe that Thomas was able to look back up the stairs before dying A silver lining if you will.

[Barry]

It is time, once again, to review another theatrical offering by our own 10000 Islands’ incredibly talented group of actresses and actors.

In this production, our players take on the timeless themes of corruption, cover-ups, and lack of adequate clothing, as they wind their way through the dark and twisted halls of power, deceit, and debauchery.

Join me now in watching, as our XKI Thespians attempt to ply us again with the sweet liquor of their considerable abilities to make us question our most deeply held values, and to ask ourselves whether “’Wrong’ is the new ‘Right’?” Let’s all watch the trailer now, shall we?


Movie: ALL THE FIELD COMMANDER’S MEN

STARRING:
Wordy as Field Commander Wordy
Ater Nox as Tactical Officer Ater Nox
Control as Tactical Officer Controlitia
Co-Starring:
Free Guns For All as President Bill Clinton (in romantic role-play as a naked monkey)
Ayunli as Monica Lewinsky
Isles of Nixon as President Richard M. Nixon
Paffnia as Charles Colson
Cerb as a picture of President John F. Kennedy

PLOT: Leaders of TITO Command attempt to grapple with the growing “Skeleton Army-Gate” scandal.

RATING: 4.8 Ananke II muffins out of 5



MOVIE TRAILER

(Scene: TITO Headquarters. Field Commander Wordy sits at her desk, receiving advice from her Tactical Officers, Ater Nox and Controlitia.

Ater Nox: *looking seriously at Wordy* There is a cankor sore growing on your Field Commandershipness.

Wordy: A (expletive deleted) what?

Control: I think the historical reference is to “cancer”, not “cankor sore”.

Ater Nox: No. I meant “cankor sore”. We’re in enough hot water already without a plagiarism and copyright infringement lawsuit from John Dean and Bob Woodward.

Wordy: Okay. “Cankor (expletive deleted) sore” it is then. What (expletive deleted) cankor sore?

Control: Well, Field Commander…*hesitates*…They’ve got a picture of you signing The Skeleton Army’s ‘Bone of Surrender’ on behalf of TITO.

Wordy: *leans toward microphoned “flower” on desk* I DID NOT! THAT…WOULD…BE…WRONG…!

Ater Nox: But Field Commander…they have a picture and everything. TITO is now a puppet of The Skeleton Army!

Wordy: (Expletive deleted) me!

Ater Nox: That about sums it up alright.

*Group is interrupted by door opening and Gunny standing naked in the doorway, dressed only in a monkey suit from the waist up*

Gunny: Hey guys. Anybody see Monica Lewinsky around here? …No? Well. As you were then.

*door closes*

Wordy: *scratches head* Was that a (expletive deleted) naked talking monkey?

Ater Nox: *shrugs shoulders* Who cares? What matters here is that Grub (Lenlyvit) is going to be really, really not happy about this.

Control: Yep. Naked monkeys shouldn’t be able to gain access to TITO Headquarters that easily.

Ater Nox: *exasperated* NO! I mean he’ll be livid that our Field Commander signed The Skeleton Army’s Bone of Surrender!

Wordy: *leans toward flower again* Our Founder has a right to know whether his Field Commander is a crook; AND…I…AM…NOT…A…CROOK!

Control: Well, unfortunately they DO have a picture of you signing TSA’s Bone of Surrender. I think we’ll have to pay them off.

Wordy: …(Expletive deleted) How much do you think they want? A million Tacos? I know where we can get a million Tacos. That would be easy.

Ater Nox: *shakes head* Nope. That’s been tried before. Didn’t work.

Wordy: *thoughtfully tugs at eyebrow, then…* Oh. Wait. I have a (expletive deleted) plan.

*Group is interrupted by door opening and Monica Lewinsky standing in the doorway*

Ayunli: Hey guys. Anyone see a naked monkey who kind of looks like Billy – I call him “Billy” - Clinton come through here?

(-fade to black-)


TWO SENTENCE REVIEW

Another XKI cult classic in the making, as our players have seamlessly woven a point/counter-point tale contrasting the deft handling of crisis situations by our Fearless TITO Field Commander, as juxtaposed against a background of the horribly mismanaged scandals of the Nixon and Clinton presidential administrations.

The opening scene where President Nixon (Isles of Nixon) drunkenly staggers around the Oval Office, yelling obscenities at a picture of President Kennedy (Cerb) on the wall, while Charles Colson (Paffnia) is begging Nixon to get down on his knees and pray with him, is simply breathtaking in its intensity.

Until next time…
Don’t forget to turn off your cell phone!

[Isles of Nixon]

Sorry Barry, Oliver Stone beat ya to to the punch, especially with the speaking to JFK's portrait

[Jabberwocky]

LONG live the Mad Islander!