Taco Island Election Coverage

[Paffnia]

Fox Striker: "For folks just joining us, welcome to XKI-TV's 24/7 election coverage of Decision 2014, Mid-summer Edition: The Heat Is On. I'm Fox Striker--"

Anderton Caper: "--And I'm Anderton Caper, your anchors reporting live from our Taco Island studios. For the next two weeks, we'll have all the latest breaking news on the 10000 Islands' senate races. And boy do we have an election season shaping up."

Fox: "That's right. Over in Himes West, Witchcraft and Sorcery will be stepping down. Rumor has it he was caught counterfeiting Tacos and eating them all himself--what's that? I'm being told none of what I just said is true. I blame the news media."

Anderton: "We are the news media..."

Fox: "I blame the other news media."

Anderton: "Anyways, in Lyonnesse East, there's no word yet on Ardreas' plans. We sent a correspondent to ask him at his house--"

*cut to tape*

*Fox approaches door guarded by pit bulls. As he nervously knocks, the dogs pounce. The footage abruptly cuts off.*

Anderton: "--and received no response."

Fox: "They don't pay me enough for this job."

Anderton: "Meanwhile, a number of potential candidates have been making gestures toward running. The Candy Lane will be throwing his hat in the ring for TDP, while the Islands' resident butler, Barry, is looking for a promotion on the MSPP ticket."

Fox: "Aersoldorf may or may not also be making a run for his old seat. We wanted to hear from the man on the street what people think about the new mayor of Shelter's Taco Island running."

*cuts to interview*

Anderton: "I'm with Joe Public here. Mr. Public, what do you think about Mayor Aersoldorf running?"

*Joe Public looks around for one of the Mayor's many hidden cameras and finds one zooming in on him*

Joe Public (nervously): "I LOVE OUR GLORIOUS MAYOR!"

Anderton: "Um, okay. What do you think about his latest Taco Island tax increases to pay for his new mansion construction?"

Joe: "OUR MAYOR CAN DO NO WRONG!"

*cuts back to studio*

Fox: "Well, there you have it, folks. Sure to be another exciting election."

Anderton: "We'll be back soon with more news as it develops. Meanwhile, we have correspondents across the 10000 Islands who will be reporting their thoughts. Let's go to them now--"

[Paffnia]

Fox: "And we're back! Just getting word from our anonymous sources that Ayunli has entered the race for Himes West! Our confidential informants risked life and limb to bring us this info. I met one source, Deep Neck, in the dark basement of a garage, so we wouldn't be followed. It was a real adventure--"

Anderton: "Fox, it's in her signature."

Fox: "Now you tell me....Well, we had to spend our investigative budget on something."

Anderton: "Er, meanwhile, The Candy Lane has declared for Lyonnesse East."

Fox: "Let me guess--you found out from his signature."

Anderton: "Well, I was going to spends months undercover, working my sources, but for some reason our investigative budget was all gone...
...And then he put it in his signature."

Fox: "No wonder our ratings are down."

Anderton: "With challengers emerging in both races, we're still waiting to see whether Ardreas will announce his plans. We sent Fox back to get answers--"

*cuts to tape*

*Fox approaches Ardreas' door, this time guarded by a piranha-infested moat. Fox notices a drawbridge.*

Fox: "At least there's a way in this time."

*Fox steps on the bridge, which immediately collapses.*

*cuts back to studio*

Anderton: "--but he yet again received no comment."

*Fox grumbles*

Anderton: "Well, we'll be back with more news when it breaks--"

Fox: "--because at XKI-TV, we put the 'breaking' in 'breaking news!'"

[Barry]

Issues Press Release:

"I did not have any relationship with that woman, Monica Lewinsky! Thank you."

[Paffnia]

Fox: "Welcome back to XKI-TV's 24/7 election coverage: Decision 2014, Mid-summer Edition: The Heat Is On."

Anderton: "We've got breaking news to report--after weeks of investigative reporting, we can confirm that Ardreas is running for re-election."

Fox: "That's right. I went deep undercover to get this scoop. Here's how a pro does it--"

*cuts to tape of Fox opening up a ventilation shaft in Ardreas campaign headquarters and climbing up*

Fox: "Now, watch this--"

*tape shows Fox lowering himself out of the vent into a room inside*

Fox: "Pretty risky, huh?"

Anderton: "Wait, wait, roll the rest of the tape."

*tape shows Fox dropping down into a seat in what turns out to be a press briefing room. Fox straightens his tie and asks Ardreas, standing at the podium, if he's running again*

Anderton: "Yep, risky alright."

Fox: "I told the editors to erase the end of that tape..."

Anderton: "Over in Himes West, we have just received news from Barry about his relationship with one Monica Lewinsky."

Fox: "Didn't we do a big story about her fifteen years ago or so?"

Anderton: "Nope, don't remember that."

Fox: "Well, I'm sure he's telling the truth. When has a butler ever committed a crime?"

Anderton: "Er, you ever played Clue?"

Fox: "In any case, the vote opens very soon. May the best man/woman/whole nation win!"

[Duckyian Empire]

Quick question: did anyone here see my posts on the standings on the RMB throughout the week?

[Paffnia]

Jul 22, 2014 12:54:15 GMT -5 Duckyian Empire said:

Quick question: did anyone here see my posts on the standings on the RMB throughout the week?

Yeah, I did--found them very helpful.

[Duckyian Empire]

Good to hear that the Pollster's League is doing its job.

[The Candy Lane]

I saw them too, good idea Ducky

[Shy Guyia (old account)]

Good work Paffnia