TIPD

[Ater Nox]

Detective Tanzoria, please report to Captain Ater Nox's office ASAP.

[Tanzoria]

*gulps*

[Ater Nox]

Take a seat detective.

IN MY NINETEEN YEARS AS HEAD OF THE 35TH PRECINCT I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A DISGRACEFUL ACT BY AN OFFICER OF THE LAW. YOUR EXCESSIVE USE OF FORCE AGAINST A VICTIM OF CRIME IS ONE STEP TOO FAR DETECTIVE. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE, YOU PUT ONE MORE FOOT OVER THE LINE AND I'LL SEE YOU OFF THE FORCE.

Now, to make sure you don't go too far again I am partnering you up with Detective Louisistan, a rogue cop with nothing to lose.

[Louisistan]

*shoots Captain Ater Nox in the foot*

[Tanzoria]

Captain, he deserved it

[Ater Nox]

Oh, I forgot to mention that Detective Louis is also very clumsy. Remember to keep the safety on on your gun Louis or the brass will send Boltor from IA in and none of us want that.

[Tanzoria]

Can you appoint Louisistan and I to handle your most complex cases?

[Ater Nox]

Good thinking, alright detectives so here's the case.

Someone has been breaking into Taco Island museums and stealing artifacts created in the year 874 AD. The only clues we've found are a piece of wire, a signed photo of George W Bush, a can of dog food, three fake eyeballs and a screwdriver.

The DA wants this case closed quickly so I'm putting my best two men on this, don't let the TIPD down.

[Tanzoria]

Just test for fingerprints and DNA, or even easier just examine CCTV footage?

[Ater Nox]

CSI couldn't find any DNA or fingerprints and the cctv recordings were all wiped.

[Tanzoria]

Ok, so find out who has access to the tapings

[Ater Nox]

Security says anyone could have broken in and wiped the tapes.

[Tanzoria]

It most likely is a member of security stealing the items

[Ater Nox]

Bring them in for questioning then.

[Tanzoria]

Ok.

[Baden-Wuerttemberg]

Look, I just try to do my job on the night watch. Not interested in those dusty dirty old artefacts. Probably the coffee machine broke down and leaked over the CCTV server, who cares.

[Ater Nox]

Detectives Tanzoria and Louisistan, I think you're going to need to use the old good cop, bad cop routine to crack this one.

Also, Detective Barry, I have an undercover operation for you if you are interested.

[Tanzoria]

Mar 30, 2016 15:22:33 GMT -5 Baden-Wuerttemberg said:

Look, I just try to do my job on the night watch. Not interested in those dusty dirty old artefacts. Probably the coffee machine broke down and leaked over the CCTV server, who cares.

Right, but you've allowed people to break into your museum night after night.

[Baden-Wuerttemberg]

If only it were my own museum, I could... what? Pray tell me how you came by this propesterous idea.

[Louisistan]

Your lack of identification with your workplace disturbs me, Baden-Wuerttemberg!
*shoots Tanzoria in the hoof*

Now tell us who you're covering for or I will shoot that guy again!

[Tanzoria]

Mar 31, 2016 3:58:33 GMT -5 Baden-Wuerttemberg said:

If only it were my own museum, I could... what? Pray tell me how you came by this propesterous idea.

You're a security guard, your job is to stop intruders. You have not, multiple nights in a row

[Baden-Wuerttemberg]

Your unregulated ammunition disspation does not surprise me in the least.

You mean if I cast aspersions on someone else, you'll drag them in here in my stead, and I can freely be on my merry way?

Anyway, is the accusation propesterous or preposterous... Do you keep a dictionary in this lousy cop shack?

[Tanzoria]

I'm placing you under arrest

[Baden-Wuerttemberg]

On whose authority? Those phone numbers on your grubby pinboard aren't very up to date, are they. Judge Brabazon-Plunkett must have gone into retirement years ago.

[Tanzoria]

I don't like who you are

[Baden-Wuerttemberg]

You'll like even less that I'm third cousin to Judge Wyndham-Ignata's god-daughter. And it will be Wyndham-Ignata's secretary on the phone nowadays if you dial that number.

[Louisistan]

We can hold you indefinitely on suspicion of domestic terrorism, you know?

[Baden-Wuerttemberg]

And that is supposed to impress me? By the look of this dusty hovel, you guys are more than inept about domestic anything.

[Barry]

Mar 30, 2016 18:18:41 GMT -5 Ater Nox said:

Also, Detective Barry , I have an undercover operation for you if you are interested.

*Oh joy, my heart be still*

....Sure, Captain, just as long as I don't have to work with anyone around here.. I work alone, you know. Like the song goes: "I'm a Sole Man"... And I don't like museums. NO museum cases. I HATE museums. They give me the creeps...worse than clowns.

[Louisistan]

Mar 31, 2016 5:02:39 GMT -5 Baden-Wuerttemberg said:

And that is supposed to impress me? By the look of this dusty hovel, you guys are more than inept about domestic anything.

Which means, you'd probably rot in a cell forever.