The Mad Surfer, May 2018 Edition May 4, 2018 12:00:00 GMT -5 Woonsocket, Siuts, and 2 more like this
Post by The Mad Surfer on May 4, 2018 12:00:00 GMT -5
THE MAD SURFER
All the news that fits
Air temp: perfect
Water temp: perfect
Here at TMS we are faced with a singular dilemma. Last month, we had the elections to sustain us. Coverage of those events resulted in an unprecedented amount of gossip and innuendo diligent, even assiduous, journalism by our hardworking staff. This month, we have to rely upon actual investigation and the reporting of HARD NEWS! As unaccustomed as we are to anything resembling labor, as averse as we are to application of effort, we’ll try to adapt and give XKIslanders what they so desperately need: something to talk about.
POLITICSAfter the heated election for WA Delegate for the 10000 Islands was over, before the dust had a chance to settle, our newly elected Delegate was hard at work. Alkasia has already been busy posting World Assembly and Security Council resolutions to keep our local WA members up to date. While it’s true that this information is easily available in NS, many of us prefer not to leave the cozy confines of The 10000 Islands; it’s nice to stay here and yet remain informed. In addition, he oversees our Emissaries (more on them later), making sure they keep their own work up to date, ruling with a kind and benevolent hand.
In a surprise move that shook the political world, the new Senator of Lyonesse East, Flemingisa , has appointed his running opponent in the recent election, the ever popular Finswedeway , as Deputy Senator, part of a visit to World Assembly Political Party’s headquarters. Senator Flem, also the Dean of XKI University, was quoted as saying, “Finswedeway has agreed to take the position of Deputy Lyonesse East senator and I have full confidence that her notoriety on the RMB and across XKI as a whole will be a major boon to the houses and NS as a whole. I hope everyone will give her a hearty congratulations!” Well done, Fin! In addition to all his other duties, Dean Flemingisa and his associate Aschente have completed the construction of a Discord server specifically for The World of Minecraft, considered to be a University Extension Course. People are already lined up to sign up for this course. These bastions of academic excellence are making tremendous inroads in intellectual progress.
In case you paid a visit to the Senate Lobby lately, and found a distinct lack of Senators, fear not. The Council of Nine has been hard at work revising the laws of the land in a massive Law Archive Cleanup. We’ve seen our citizens queued up at the local law libraries looking for the latest in legalese. The work that has been done, designed to make our laws more easily understood by laymen and to reduce duplication and superfluity, includes but is not limited to the following:
o Putting all law threads into a standard format
o Reordering all law threads by date in the Senate Archive
o Tagging the Councilmembers who voted on each law
o Adding a tag in brackets in the title of each law thread to indicate clearly if the law is passed, repealed, rejected, etc.
Readers, this is the short version of what Paffnia and Woonsocket have been doing on the public dole: they EARN it! That isn’t half the list of what our legislators have accomplished. Senator Siuts has been banging his head on his keyboard knocking out our monthly Council Report, which details Council Happenings, TITO news, and updates from all the State Departments. Islanders in the know find it compelling reading.
IMMIGRATION REPORTThese accomplishments are not to obscure the work of our topnotch Recruitment Team; and what a month it’s been! Tuga Nation's Dragon, our Minister of Immigration, has informed us of the fine work his crew has been doing. Escanaba was once again the Recruiter of the Month, winning the Echolilia Full Throttle Award. Escanaba sent over 6000 TG's and got 136 confirmed recruits! He also found 1 random nation this month, winning more 5000 tacos. Congratulations Naba!
In second place we had our first ELIXIR winner, Mingulay Isle! Mingulay Isle sent 4334 TG's with 52 confirmed recruits. He also found 2 random nations, with a prize of 10000 tacos. On top of this, he achieved the LoreSong Cross 2nd Class medal for reaching a total of 60 confirmed recruits, with a bonus of 3000 tacos! Well done! Our region now stands with 1267 nations!
If these newcomers wander about the Islands in search of a good time, TMS would like to make some recommendations. For example, stop by 10000 Islands and TITO Welcome Center at 10000islands.proboards.com/board/38/10000-islands-tito-welcome-center, and introduce yourself at New Member Registration. Next stop is The Information Bureau, where all your questions can be answered. Sign up for a buddy; join a House; see what Generations are all about; hook up with a Political Party. And it is imperative to visit the TITO Headquarters. Ambitious newbs seeking adventure will want to join TITO.
An incoming ship laden with new arrivals were greeted by one of our hardnosed reporters, who waylaid one of the unsuspecting newcomers. Saljukid hails from the Saljukid Empire, and scarcely had time to set down his bags in the manner of mariners worldwide, but still had this to say:
“Firstly, we would like to appreciate the job that you do at The Mad Surfer. 10000 Islands' cause are similar to ours. Considering the history of our great empire, how we defended our lands against the foreign aggressors brought us to the conclusion that we may need allies, regardless of what religion, ideology or system they have. Saljukid Empire have identified itself as an Islamic Democracy. 10000 Islands cause on defending the international peace and stability is compatible with our religious ideas, and the pillars of values that Saljukid Empire was built on. We believe that by joining the 10000 Islands, we will bring prosperity and development to the people of our region, as well as to spread the message of Islam to our allies. Next question?” Naturally, our staff is much more accustomed to interviewees scurrying away clutching their possessions rather than standing about ready to answer questions, so rather than admit to being unprepared, our reporter mumbled something about getting back to our gracious guest for a later interview.
BUSINESS NEWSHere at TMS, we like to stay abreast of the latest developments in the business world. We sent one of our intrepid reporters to The Regional Reserve, who managed to inveigle his way into the office of The Chairwoman, United Royal Islands. After listening to a barrage of piercingly penetrating questions demonstrating a shrewd grasp of economic trends, The Chairwoman provided us with an insightful response that showed in turn that she was more than the equal of our suddenly mute reporter, to wit:
Hello Mad Surfer!
We thank you and your readers for your interest and deep reporting on the matters of The Regional Reserve.
To start out with, we shall address the questions regarding the market, and then move on to the Regional Reserve Bank.
While any period of volatility is certainly troublesome, over the months prior - January, February, and March- for which data regarding the various performance of the stocks has been tracked on an index level, they are all up over their end value last year. March we saw a minor decrease in value (approximately 1%), however this is buffered by the prior months February increasing by 6%, and January increasing by 3.6%. While keeping in mind that these are market index numbers and not tied to any specific stock, even looking at specific stocks shows this as a general trend. We at the reserve are not worried about any market correction or general instability. The minor shortfall in April is likely due to an increase of CTE in the feeder regions due to expansive and busy spring schedules. As it is the major growth factors are in place for a very positive and productive 2nd quarter as the work load decreases in the middle of May, and more nations join the world around the start of July.
As for the Regional Reserve Bank, the solvency question is quite moot, as it is impossible for the Reserve to run out of cash, due entirely to the fact that we are able to create more supply of money in order to remain solvent. Individual private bank operators may have some disadvantages in this area, however they may also have the advantage of offering higher interest rates and preferred deposits, as compared to the standard banking conducted with the Reserve.
As always we advise all consumers of financial products to remain vigilant and well informed regarding the security of their money and their prospective returns, and risks associated. We welcome any and all opportunities to inform the public of all options available to them in this area.
All the best,
A. Smith - Press Office Agent
On behalf of:
United Royal Islands
Regional Reserve Chairwoman
Okay, we didn’t actually get to see URI, just Mr. Smith, but, still, you get the picture. But a different note was struck in the monthly Mortimer Report, which offered a more conservative stance. Here’s an excerpt:
March seemed to a slump for the stock market, which was on a slight decline as a whole, which has been quite rare in stock market history. Major regions, XKI, RIA, TEP, PAC and LAZ lost heavily. On the other hand, YGG and TRR had almost 9.0% rises each, which along with TNP's stable 2.6% and TWP's 10.% rise, helped to hold reins on a fast falling stock market. The decline is a small 0.9%, but still a sizable one for many of the investors here. We sincerely hope April is a bit better for all our investors.
So, Dear Reader, we see two different perspectives on the issue. The prevailing attitude seems to be: keep investing. Our Editor took that to heart and immediately bought his first share of stock.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTSIt is to our deep regret and shame here at TMS that in last month’s issue we missed an important event, and we set out here to remedy that error. We speak, of course, of the great honor bestowed upon longtime Islands stalwart, Markanite , The Heart of the Islands. The name of the award in this case also accurately describes Mark himself.
When our Delegate, Alkasia, isn’t delegating, he likes to relax with a nice game of chess….and who can blame him? He is also in the process of establishing a chess tournament. We know you’ll be lined up to join in the festivities, and here’s where you go to do that: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/35533/forest-chess-tournament-interest-thread?page=1&scrollTo=1614680. Check!
As if all this is not enough to make a rookie’s head spin, those with idle time on their hands, there is always a good time to be found on the Taco Island Games thread. New games are about to begin, so sign up while you can! 10000islands.proboards.com/board/167/games . In addition to that, Palman is hosting the latest game, Quantum Werewolves. While this one is currently under way, Ater Nox and Palman assure us there will continue to be more.
Special announcementWe’ve saved this penultimate announcement due to an excess of modesty on the part of Our Editor. Recently, Senator Siuts named a Rookie of the Quarter for the first quarter of 2018, the recipient of this highly prestigious award being none other than our own Jabberwocky. At the time of the announcement, the Senator had this to say:
Rookie of the Quarter
Rookie of the Quarter
“This quarter's RoQ Award Winner sure made a lasting impression already. This person joined the WA, registered on the forum on 31 January and after a mere two months already has over a 1100 posts to his name. Soon after he registered he became a TITO Member and helped defend other regions. He revived the nearly extinct newspaper The Mad Islander, and then went on to surpass that by opening his own news and tabloid magazine: The Mad Surfer, for which he, as ruthless reporter, composes copy like no other. Our Award Winner partook in many games throughout our forums, livened many a thread with positive poetry. This man has also joined one of the XKI's renowned Houses: The House of Louisistan and showed political engagement when he became a party member of Mayor Shelter Political Party (MSPP). In the tradition of 10000 Islands he is a prolific spammer, involved, committed and an overall active member of our fantastic community, for certain!
But, as if that wasn't enough to secure this prestigious award, he then stepped up to the plate when yours truly was looking for a Deputy Senator, to help run XKI Casino (10000islands.proboards.com/board/7/xki-casino).” As if that list of accomplishments were not enough, in order to celebrate the award, Jabberwocky accepted a position as Emissary. During the celebration, music was provided by The Taco Island Surf and Blues Band, featuring Jabberwocky on lead guitar and vocals. How does the man find time to surf and chase a bevy of bounteous, bouncing beach babes? We don’t know, but he does it!
SPAMMER OF THE MONTHLast month’s clear winner, Hakketomat , continued his torrid posting pace during the month of April. However, his valiant efforts were in vain due to the unexpected appearance of a longtime XKIsland stalwart who had been conspicuous in his absence in recent months. Aersoldorf made a surprise return from an extended sabbatical and established new standards in spamming with a whopping post count. We don’t have the actual figures here, because it’s simply too beautiful at the beach to be doing drab dreck work at a desk. Congratulations, Sir Aerso! We’ll talk to our Graphics Department about working up an award of some sort.
The Mad Surfer
Staff Writers: Jabberwocky, Kozmix
Graphics Department: Kozmix
Advertising Department: Jabberwocky