New Taco Island Jail

[Twobagger]

The old jail is confusing and it's hard to tell the status of prisoners, since the only list updated is 20+ pages in and, funnily enough, not updated.
So, the jail (while I am mayor) will be put here.
Should be easy enough to keep track of you guys now.

EDIT: All the posters in the DO NOT OPEN THIS THREAD thread appear to be hardened criminals. Therefore, the "three strikes" policy has been eliminated and replaced with "one strike."
Yep, you all get life.

Current Warden: Blacens

Current Prisoners:
Otupia (3 strikes, life sentence with possible parole)
Twobagger (12 strikes, life without parole unless I say so)
MC (life sentence)
Sinn (life)
Repaxan (gets life just for giggles)
Io Way (life) (escaped) (life)
Boltor (2 Strikes, upgraded to life)
Pablo (life)
Bletheropolis (life)
Petalumadom (life)
People Saying Ni (life. Ha! Now you'll never be out in time to be Warden! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!)
Togodjibuti (life)
Soviet-Prussia (life)

Past Prisoners with Strikes:
White African People(does not have life because he was in jail prior to sentencing)
Dark Rebels (Half a Strike)
GnB (did away with strikes policy, all inmates now receive life with the first offense)

[Otupia]

FALSE IMPRISONMENT MAAAAN NO ONE READ ME MY MIRANDA RIGHTS

[Twobagger]

Ooooh, Blacens, looks like we've got an uppity inmate on aisle three.
Better clean that up, grab a mop whip and hurry over.

[Otupia]

i figure a ghandi quote for you fools tommorow

[Girlsandboys]

does the jail get funding from taco island charities? just wondering whose payin for this...

[Otupia]

YEA GnB, You tell em...prisoner rights!!!

[Twobagger]

girlsandboys said:

does the jail get funding from taco island charities? just wondering whose payin for this...

YEA GnB, You tell em...prisoner rights!!!

Please, do tell me where prisoner's rights are mentioned in GnB's post.

[Otupia]

the part that concerns the jail getting free money

[Twobagger]

Psh. You get 15 tacos every time you rail against my administration or the jail.
You get paid by the forum for ranting against the forum.
Would someone please quell this hippy rebellion?

[Boltor]

I will quell this hippy rebellion, with my night stick. *WHACK* *WHACK*

[Twobagger]

Thanks, Boltor. Unfortunately, as Otupia is an inmate, I have a duty to protect him, and that includes the punishment of all non-wardens who attack the inmates.

You get a one week jail sentence with possibility of parole after two days pending good behavior. Strike one.

[Blacens]

*grabs Otupia's left foot, drags it through the gap in the bars, and ties it to the bars of a neighboring cell*

suck on that you hippie.

[Boltor]

I will stay in jail, sure..........I'l be able to get that hippy offgaurd.

[Twobagger]

That's the spirit, Boltor.
Due to your extremely good behavior, your sentence for this one may be suspended and your strike removed after today, if you so desire.

[The Candy Lane]

were all one big happy family arent we.

[Twobagger]

Candy Lane, mate, you're free.
So I dunno what you're talking about.

[The Candy Lane]

i guess im a frequent visitor... its 10:00 somewhere right

[Twobagger]

(=
Somewhere, I suppose.
Stay as long as you like, just remember that you're free to go whenever.
P.S. It's tempting but don't beat up the hippies

And looks like our buddy Dark Rebels will be serving his first term for a triple post!
Welcome to Taco Island, buddy.

[SovietPrussia]

Can I get a job as a guard?

[Dark Rebels]

i am very sorry about that but my computer was slow so i sent it 3 times by accident

[Blacens]

so twobagger, does he belong in a cell?

[Twobagger]

Soviet-Prussia: I'm sorry, but at present the jail is not in need of extra security. However, if something comes up, I will be in touch.

Dark Rebels: No sweat. I believe that it was, in fact, a mistake. However, I believe you can delete your own posts. But, hey, first time, and a light offense at that. Forget about it.

Blacens: Nah. First-timer, light offense? Let him hang around, he's got only about 10 hours to serve anyway.

[Otupia]

MAYOR MAYOR?

got a question why do i have a life setence with 3 strikes and you have 12 strikes and are out on june 14th?

[Twobagger]

Well, because I am the Mayor.
I usually wouldn't serve a term for nothing, but every now and then I like to lock myself up for a week.
I'd stop asking questions if I were you, it makes half the parole board (Blacens and me) antsy.

[Otupia]

...power abuse

[Twobagger]

Power abuse because I serve voluntary jail time?

[Otupia]

power abuse cause you have more than 3 charges and your not life setence

[Twobagger]

\= The old mayor and warden both let me out early on numerous occasions. Furthermore, I'm the only one who didn't have their strikes cleared on this new jail...

[Otupia]

ill give up on that fight....either way im being held on false charges

[Twobagger]

If you'd like to appeal this you'd better hurry up.