Post by Free Guns For All on Nov 1, 2010 19:54:11 GMT -5
In Victoria, on the first Tuesday of November, we all have a day off for a horse race (I don't know why either).
Anyway, yesterday I was listening to the radio and they were taking the piss out of this by using celebrity names as horses and calling a horse race. I thought to myself "I should this a similar thing using the Islanders names".
So I spent a good portion writing this. I hope you all like it. (I swear I didn't rig this).
They’re being lead up to the gates now. Some people are showing confusion at a cow in what’s meant to be a horse race, but not that many since there are also two pigs, a penguin, a meerkat, a chicken, a camel, a squirrel, a tiger, a lion, a cat and the guy from the men’s room door. Wordy’s looking good today, also she’s a hot favourite to win. Shelter’s crawled out of his cave to join the race, and then feast on the flesh of the living before crawling back in. Grub, in his usual green coat, is being lead to his starting position as we’re about to begin the inaugural Islander’s Cup.
AND THEY’RE OFF!!! PAI is off to an early lead followed by Minna and Gunny, which is bizarre because I’ve never seen a penguin waddle so fast. HNV is trying to hold Wala back with a hockey stick, and Echo hasn’t even left the gates yet. On closer inspection, he’s pwning Taco Island ‘coz all his competitors are racing. Anime Daisuki has turned Super Saiyan and is racing up the side now. Gunny has shot off, tell me something I don’t know, and Wordy is in a heated argument with Ananke over who is the prettiest. La Vida’s gotten to third place, oops, sorry, that’s Olivia, and here comes Cerb. 3LiT3 has left the gates, but only because there wasn’t enough room to do the Single Ladies dance in there. Harperians is just blinking in amazement at that, which is stunning because any other cat would have eaten the chicken by now. Echo has started moving finally, but it’s probably too late for him. Takaram and Markanite are passing Guy and Grub is falling back. Don’t worry, he’s not out yet, he still has the ban hammer ready.
Echo has left the gates, but he might be out of it now as several racers start the second lap, and just as I said lap, Wordy got on Woon’s. The leaders, at this point, are La Vi...err...Olivia, AD, HNV and Minna, with Gunny and Shelter still in contention. Wala is not far behind. Tak and Cerb are having a cat fight. No, really, one’s a tiger and the other a lion. PAI is floating off to the side, allowing Wordy and Grub to pass. HNV is trying to distract people with his iPod, but doing this has just cost him a top three spot as Gunny waddles past. Woon is keeping up despite Wordy on his lap. From this angle I could swear she’s trying to milk him...I stand corrected, she is milking him. Wala is trying to make some ground in a canoe, which is not exactly the best way to catch up. AD has just been distracted by a wild Rattata, but that’s just a mild annoyance. Even more so, he’s fallen to fourth behind Olivia, Minna and Gunny. Grub is coming up quickly. Guy is also coming but not in the same way. The main pack is pulling into the home straight. Shelter seems to be pulling more than a late charge. The only ones in with a chance at this point are Minna, Olivia, Woon, Gunny, Grub, HNV, Wordy, Shelter and La Vida. Echo has realized there is no possible way he can win and has returned to Taco Island.
Gunny has shot up the side, pushing past Minna for a late lead, but Woon ain’t giving in that easily. Wordy’s making her move, but hold on a sec. AD is coming up on the inside, and has just knocked down Grub, Shelter and La Vida. HNV has just slowed down. He must be listening to the theme to Titanic, ‘coz he’s frantically trying to find Eye of the Tiger. Won’t do him much good, he is gone now. Olivia got past for the lead again, but here comes Woon. He must have seen what he thought was red ‘coz he’s taken Olivia out. Minna and Wordy are still in there. AD coming up fast, but I don’t think it will be enough. Gunny has gotten past with about 20 yards to go. AD is just passing Minna and Wordy. 10 yards, and Woon and Gunny are beak and bull ring. 5 Gunny ahead and...YES! HE’S DONE IT! Free Guns For All has won the first Islander cup, followed by Woonsocket and Anime Daisuki. The rest of the field were Wordy, Minna, Olivia, HNV, Grub, Shelter, La Vida, Guy, Wala, Mark, Tak, PAI, Cerb, Ananke, Harpers, 3LiT3 and Echo.
Anyway, yesterday I was listening to the radio and they were taking the piss out of this by using celebrity names as horses and calling a horse race. I thought to myself "I should this a similar thing using the Islanders names".
So I spent a good portion writing this. I hope you all like it. (I swear I didn't rig this).
They’re being lead up to the gates now. Some people are showing confusion at a cow in what’s meant to be a horse race, but not that many since there are also two pigs, a penguin, a meerkat, a chicken, a camel, a squirrel, a tiger, a lion, a cat and the guy from the men’s room door. Wordy’s looking good today, also she’s a hot favourite to win. Shelter’s crawled out of his cave to join the race, and then feast on the flesh of the living before crawling back in. Grub, in his usual green coat, is being lead to his starting position as we’re about to begin the inaugural Islander’s Cup.
(Bell)
AND THEY’RE OFF!!! PAI is off to an early lead followed by Minna and Gunny, which is bizarre because I’ve never seen a penguin waddle so fast. HNV is trying to hold Wala back with a hockey stick, and Echo hasn’t even left the gates yet. On closer inspection, he’s pwning Taco Island ‘coz all his competitors are racing. Anime Daisuki has turned Super Saiyan and is racing up the side now. Gunny has shot off, tell me something I don’t know, and Wordy is in a heated argument with Ananke over who is the prettiest. La Vida’s gotten to third place, oops, sorry, that’s Olivia, and here comes Cerb. 3LiT3 has left the gates, but only because there wasn’t enough room to do the Single Ladies dance in there. Harperians is just blinking in amazement at that, which is stunning because any other cat would have eaten the chicken by now. Echo has started moving finally, but it’s probably too late for him. Takaram and Markanite are passing Guy and Grub is falling back. Don’t worry, he’s not out yet, he still has the ban hammer ready.
Echo has left the gates, but he might be out of it now as several racers start the second lap, and just as I said lap, Wordy got on Woon’s. The leaders, at this point, are La Vi...err...Olivia, AD, HNV and Minna, with Gunny and Shelter still in contention. Wala is not far behind. Tak and Cerb are having a cat fight. No, really, one’s a tiger and the other a lion. PAI is floating off to the side, allowing Wordy and Grub to pass. HNV is trying to distract people with his iPod, but doing this has just cost him a top three spot as Gunny waddles past. Woon is keeping up despite Wordy on his lap. From this angle I could swear she’s trying to milk him...I stand corrected, she is milking him. Wala is trying to make some ground in a canoe, which is not exactly the best way to catch up. AD has just been distracted by a wild Rattata, but that’s just a mild annoyance. Even more so, he’s fallen to fourth behind Olivia, Minna and Gunny. Grub is coming up quickly. Guy is also coming but not in the same way. The main pack is pulling into the home straight. Shelter seems to be pulling more than a late charge. The only ones in with a chance at this point are Minna, Olivia, Woon, Gunny, Grub, HNV, Wordy, Shelter and La Vida. Echo has realized there is no possible way he can win and has returned to Taco Island.
Gunny has shot up the side, pushing past Minna for a late lead, but Woon ain’t giving in that easily. Wordy’s making her move, but hold on a sec. AD is coming up on the inside, and has just knocked down Grub, Shelter and La Vida. HNV has just slowed down. He must be listening to the theme to Titanic, ‘coz he’s frantically trying to find Eye of the Tiger. Won’t do him much good, he is gone now. Olivia got past for the lead again, but here comes Woon. He must have seen what he thought was red ‘coz he’s taken Olivia out. Minna and Wordy are still in there. AD coming up fast, but I don’t think it will be enough. Gunny has gotten past with about 20 yards to go. AD is just passing Minna and Wordy. 10 yards, and Woon and Gunny are beak and bull ring. 5 Gunny ahead and...YES! HE’S DONE IT! Free Guns For All has won the first Islander cup, followed by Woonsocket and Anime Daisuki. The rest of the field were Wordy, Minna, Olivia, HNV, Grub, Shelter, La Vida, Guy, Wala, Mark, Tak, PAI, Cerb, Ananke, Harpers, 3LiT3 and Echo.
I had fun reading it. Thanks for the laugh. ;D
