Post by The Mad Surfer on Nov 13, 2018 16:49:47 GMT -5
THE MAD SURFER
November 2018
“All I know is what I read in the papers.”
Will Rogers
NOVEMBER SENATE ELECTIONS
So far there has been no word from longtime Senior Senator Siuts (TIP) on whether or not he intends to seek re-election. While he has always been a popular favorite, he has been drawn away from public service in recent months by personal issues, and his constituents are eager to hear from him. But, quick to spot an opportunity in the political sphere, New Ecopia (TIP) soon entered the fray. Sporting a gaudy banner to rival that of Louisistan, he offered his own speech with equal conviction. In that speech, he delineates his program to revitalize XKI Casino by introducing new games, by featuring daily contests of luck, and a Gamblers’ Tier system. The speech in its entirety can be found here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/36348/ecopia-bringer-prosperity-10ki-casino?page=1&scrollTo=1654546.
The race for Lyonesse East is more problematic. Incumbent Dominion of Compassion (MSPP) has not declared his intent to run again, and the rumor mill suggests that he too may be stepping out of the public limelight to concentrate on personal affairs. In the interim, no one else has stepped forward to declare a candidacy. TMS sees this as a terrific opportunity for an eager newcomer to throw a hat into the arena and take some responsibility for sustaining an infrastructure the benefits of which we all enjoy. Speaking of which, what a segue that is to….
INFRASTRUCTURE REBUILDING?
After the recent rocky roads traversed by the local XKI government in the last couple of months, it is encouraging to see that the recovery process is in full swing. We took heart when the XKI Casino once again opened its doors for business, and that trend has continued into other sectors as well. The Regional Reserve is back in action, more on which in the Business News section in this paper.TRIPLE TITO PROMOTION
Just as we hit the presses, this news came in: three TITO members have recently attained Knighthood. Woonsocket had the pleasure of Knighting GolgariSwarm, Lethoica, and Jabberwocky , who were quick to swear their oaths before the statue of Wordy, thereby sanctifying the affair. Gentlemen, we salute you! Woonie had this to say"
GolgariSwarm came back to the Islands and TITO recently after a bit of an absence, and has definitely made up for lost time. Unless you like bananas, you have to be a bit careful around him as he likes to throw them around a bit. Nonetheless, he's a staunch Defender. TITO is lucky to have him as one of its newest Knights!
Lethoica has done double duty, heading up our recruiting efforts while also serving in TITO. Not an easy set of tasks, but Lethoica has performed both duties admirably. It is very pleasing to award him this Knighthood.
Jabberwocky is a plucky defender and a strong Islander as well, serving as our Pollster as well as creating, writing, and editing The Mad Surfer, our Islands source of news, events, and other commentary The Mad Surfer. As if that weren't enough, he also serves the Islands as a standing Senator! How lucky we are to have him as part of the Islands!
Lethoica has done double duty, heading up our recruiting efforts while also serving in TITO. Not an easy set of tasks, but Lethoica has performed both duties admirably. It is very pleasing to award him this Knighthood.
Jabberwocky is a plucky defender and a strong Islander as well, serving as our Pollster as well as creating, writing, and editing The Mad Surfer, our Islands source of news, events, and other commentary The Mad Surfer. As if that weren't enough, he also serves the Islands as a standing Senator! How lucky we are to have him as part of the Islands!
ROOKIE OF THE QUARTER
Senior Senator Siuts once again had the pleasure to announce an award specifically aimed at distinctive newcomers to the Islands. Rather than improvise, we'll go straight to the source and quote the Senator from his ceremony:It is a great honour and privilege to announce this year's Third Rookie of the Quarter Award Winner. Even in the quiet Summer months, roughly 170 nations joined our forum. Some of them long time citizens in our beloved region, others fresh to our region. Fortunately, we have a great team of diligent Islanders that keep an eye on things, well.., on nations to be precise. And the entire Council of Nine noticed one new forum member over all the eligible candidates.
This quarter's RoQ Award Winner registered on the forum at the very end of the previous quarter and after a mere three months sure made a lasting impression. To name but a few of his accomplishments; he created 8 threads and made 233 posts. He is a WA citizen and drafted several WA resolutions. He joined TITO and has 17 battle stars under his belt already. Our winner has political aspirations too. He became a member of The Island Party (TIP) for which he is now in the running to become its Whip. But to top it all off, he ran for office and was elected Senator of Blue Canaria North, now serving you all diligently on the Council. So, in the tradition of 10000 Islands he is a highly involved, committed and an overall active member of our fantastic community, for certain!
Without further ado, I present the Rookie of the Quarter Award to:
Sargon Reman !
THE WA SCENE
Greenhouse Gas Cap and Trade Program - Charges World Assembly Scientific Programme's (WASP) Atmospheric Chemistry Establishment (ACE) to regulate emissions of greenhouse gasses. PASSED 84.9%-15.1%.
Repeal: Convention on International Oil Spills - Repeals GA 444 "Convention on International Oil Spills." PASSED 80.7%-19.3%
Respondeat Superior - A resolution to enact uniform standards that protect workers, consumers, and the general public. PASSED 55.2%-44.8%
Right to Self Defense was passed and then immediately repealed, 77.8%-22.2%
In the Security Council, a pair of resolutions were passed.
Condemn Chan Island - Concluding that some nations seed chaos in the multiverse merely for the pleasure of watching it burn and that such nations must not go unchallenged by this august body; Hereby condemns Chan Island. PASSED 77.7%-22.3%
A proposal drafted by our very own Senator Sargon Reman, Commend Minoa - ACKNOWLEDGING that as the nation of Charlotte Ryberg, Minoa maintained a list of passed Security Council resolutions from about 2009 to 2015, thus making access to passed resolutions more expeditious for fellow nations; and which remains maintained by others to this day,
IMPRESSED that the government of Minoa created and maintained for the last five years an international database of information they dubbed as NSIndex, which strives to provide objective and factual information to nations across the international community;
FURTHER NOTING that Minoa faithfully maintains one of several well-known databases used for tracking the political issues and their effects; and that Minoa directly took on the issue of Microchipping technology and how it could be dealt with in member states.
PASSED 86.4% - 13.6%. Well done, Senator.
BELIEVING that Minoa deserves to be acknowledged for their hard work and dedication to the world community and that Minoa's legacy will be a positive testament to future generations,
HEREBY commends Minoa.
Repeal: Convention on International Oil Spills - Repeals GA 444 "Convention on International Oil Spills." PASSED 80.7%-19.3%
Respondeat Superior - A resolution to enact uniform standards that protect workers, consumers, and the general public. PASSED 55.2%-44.8%
Right to Self Defense was passed and then immediately repealed, 77.8%-22.2%
In the Security Council, a pair of resolutions were passed.
Condemn Chan Island - Concluding that some nations seed chaos in the multiverse merely for the pleasure of watching it burn and that such nations must not go unchallenged by this august body; Hereby condemns Chan Island. PASSED 77.7%-22.3%
A proposal drafted by our very own Senator Sargon Reman, Commend Minoa - ACKNOWLEDGING that as the nation of Charlotte Ryberg, Minoa maintained a list of passed Security Council resolutions from about 2009 to 2015, thus making access to passed resolutions more expeditious for fellow nations; and which remains maintained by others to this day,
IMPRESSED that the government of Minoa created and maintained for the last five years an international database of information they dubbed as NSIndex, which strives to provide objective and factual information to nations across the international community;
FURTHER NOTING that Minoa faithfully maintains one of several well-known databases used for tracking the political issues and their effects; and that Minoa directly took on the issue of Microchipping technology and how it could be dealt with in member states.
PASSED 86.4% - 13.6%. Well done, Senator.
BELIEVING that Minoa deserves to be acknowledged for their hard work and dedication to the world community and that Minoa's legacy will be a positive testament to future generations,
HEREBY commends Minoa.
BUSINESS NEWS
As the Regional Reserve once more stirred to life, local investors heaved an enormous sigh of collective relief. The recent fiduciary fracas fast fading from memory as AMWERP payouts resumed, said investors immediately began sinking their tacos in the XKI business infrastructure by buying more businesses in order to sustain the lifestyles to which all of us have grown accustomed. The mysterious Mortimer M. Mortimer and brother Malcolm are once again in their RR offices churning out their monthly reports. Thus, our coverage of the Mortimer Report this month is bipartite. To wit:In September, due to the new Inter Island Subway, traffic on our local transit system showed a major upswing in activity. The increase in ridership resulted in a 500 taco bonus for those investing in IISS. Overall, the stock market saw an increase of 3%.
The fiduciary gods, however, are nothing if not fickle. The series of super storms in lower coastal areas flooded local salt mines, resulting in a 500 taco loss to balance out last month's gains. But, thanks to the aforementioned subway system, business continued unabated in unaffected islands, helping to recoup 25% of those losses, thereby mitigating the sting.
INTERREGIONAL FOOTBALL COMPETITION
October ushered in a special event hosted by our friends in LCRUA, a footie competiton between involving 16 regions. With Coach Jabberwocky at the helm, our local team, the 10000 Islands Taco Sharks, finished with a record of 5-3-4 (W-D-L), and failed to make the playoffs. But Coach J is a Yank, and consequently knows zip about this style of football. Nevertheless, we are looking forward to future contests, and remain open to the notion of a new coach. In fact, XKI should give serious thought to hosting interregional contests of its own in order to promote good relations and advertise the splendors of our fair region. Here are the final standings:Football league standings
3 pts. for a win, 1 pt. for a draw, 0 pts. for a loss
The top 2 teams in each group will advance to playoffs at the end of the 12 games
*= clinched playoff spot
Group A:___W-D-L
1.Westphalia* 10-1-1 ... Points - 31
2.Enadia* 4-3-5 ... Points - 15
3.The LCRUA 4-0-8 ... Points - 12
4.Oatland 3-0-9 ... Points - 9
Group B:___W-D-L
1.Force* 6-2-4 ... Points - 20
2.The League of Conservative Nations* 5-3-4 ... Points - 18
3.Krillin 5-2-5 ... Points - 17
4.Carolingia 2-4-6 ... Points- 10
Group C:___W-D-L
1.Elparia* 5-3-4 ... Points - 18
2.Londinium* 5-3-4 ... Points - 18
3.10000 Islands 5-3-4 ... Points - 18
4.Union of Shoddy Subaverage Republics 4-5-3 ... Points - 17
Group D:___W-D-L
1.Lardyland* 8-0-4 ... Points - 24
2.Wintreath* 6-0-6 ... Points - 18
3.Union of Conservative Nations 5-1-6 ... Points - 16
4.The Radiant 3-2-7 ... Points - 11
*= Clinched Playoff spot
THE LITERATI
Poet Laureate Contest
Despite the fact that XKI is one poetry loving region, only two of our popular scribes entered October’s tourney. Of the two entries, @aersodorf’s was voted as best. We reprint Aerso’s contribution here.
Though chains around my soul are wrapped,
And in Depression's grip I'm trapped,
No exit from this Hell yet mapped,
Yet still I shall go on.
By Disappointment and Despair,
Surrounded in this squalid lair,
The stench of Death in foetid air,
Yet still I shan't succumb.
Though fled from me, the peace of sleep,
And Nightmares in my dreams do creep,
To drag me down into the deep,
Yet still my heart believes.
In solitude I face the gloom,
And search in vain for Love's sweet bloom,
Despondency my heart would doom,
Yet still I carry on.
Alone, adrift, upon the Seas,
A broken wretch upon his knees,
A smile from you, a saving breeze,
Yet still my heart dares dream.
For even in the darkest night,
When Doom would fill my mind with fright,
And Hate my tender heart would blight,
Yet still I keep the faith.
Amidst the pain and suffering,
Tho' morbid minions Sadness bring,
With head held high my heart will sing,
Yes, still, I won't give up.
For Hope within me is alive,
And lends me strength with which to strive,
It daily helps me to survive,
Yes, Hope will see me through
Though cold your words, and rimed with frost,
And venomed barbs we've slung and tossed,
I shan't believe that all is lost,
To Hope I'll ever cling
________________________________________
Citizens of XKI do love their literature, so we’ve included the second installation by thepeninsular.
SHADOWS IN THE VOID
by
(reprinted with permission of author)
Part 2: A way out?
A black void surrounded Dean Wessex. So black, as a matter of fact, that he could not see a thing. As if he was staring right into a black hole, there was no reference point. And oddly enough, he didn't feel bad. Actually, his body felt very light, and he didn't feel any of the pain he had when the alien body had crushed him. "Is this what death feels like?", he asked himself in a loud voice.
SLAP. That hurt. "Wake up.". SLAP. "Wake up, dumbass. You're not dead.". Dean opened his eyes. And stared into the face - well, not the face, rather the helmet visor - of a soldier. SLAP. "Alright, alright, I'm awake. Stop slapping me." Dean's voice was surprisingly strong considering he had just been crushed by a 600 kg xeno. A few seconds of silence passed. "What are you doing? Stand up.", the soldier said. Dean lifted his head. The corridor was still the same. Dead soldiers all over the place, the puddle of alien blood he was lying in. Just no big bug on top of him. He sat himself upright. "Wha- What happened?"
---- 5 minutes later ----
"And that's what happened.", said the soldier. Dean looked at him for a few seconds. "But why the hell isn't that bug here anymore?" "Think about it, dumbass. They ain't gonna waste organic material, so they took all their fallen back into their damned ship." "But- But if I was not dead, how did they not finish me off?" "Don't ask me, I ain't no biologist. By the way, take this." With these words he pulled the gun Dean had used to shoot the alien from the puddle. "Might come in handy later." The M41-N was still intact, which was no surprise due to it being able to survive even bigger pressure. Its exterior had been painted by the blood, and a chemical reaction between it and the gun material had given it a dark blue tan. "So who actually are you?", asked the soldier. "Private 1st Class Dean Wessex. And you?" "Private 1st Class Jake Tireno." "Nice to meet you. Do you happen to have a first aid kit? To treat my leg wound...." "What leg wound?" Dean looked down at his leg. Nothing was there. "..... Nevermind. Now, how the hell do we get out of here?"
"Doesn't look good for us. The bugs have attached their ship to the wreckage. I don't think anyone survived. And by the way, we are in linear space. No idea where we're gonna come out." "How did you even get here?" "Hid in a storage room till they killed everyone and left. Insectoid buggers." "... Alright, I have a plan. Let's go."
---- 2 hours later ----
The staircase creaked as they set foot on it, as if it could break at any second. Step by step, they snuck across. The sign at the wall confirmed that they were at their destination: Shuttle Launch Bay 4. "This is your plan?", Jake asked. They had expected the room to be abandoned like the rest of the ship. But apparently the bugs hadn't been so stupid to leave the escape routes unguarded. "damnit. How many?" "8 to 9, I reckon. But those are the assassin kind. Sneak up on ya when you least expect it. Agile motherf**kers. We'd be dead before we could reach the shuttle." Dean counted them as well. "You mean 10?" "What?" "10." "How do you come out at 10?!" "I...." Dean hesitated. "I don't know. It just... came to me." There was a silence for several seconds. "What. And how?" "I don't know. I just... knew. I have no- Look ou!" Dean pulled himself and Jake back behind the corner. "What the hell?", Jake asked, but Dean immediatley signaled him to remain silent. Clack, clack, clack, clack. A shadow fell through the door as one of the bugs crept into the light from behind a container. Dean gulped almost inaudibly. After a few seconds, the shadow went away. When Dean looked around the corner, he knew the bug had gotten back to its position. "Well... That makes it 10.", said Jake. "And how the hell did you know that was gonna happen?!?" "I don't know..." "What the-" But Dean had already assessed the situation. With a whisper of "Let's move!", he pulled Jake into the room and behind a stack of ammo crates. "How the hell did you know they weren't looking?"
"I don't know.... I guess I just knew."
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS
Job Openings
The employment opportunities we posted here last month are still open.
Deputy Senator for Himes West, which could be affected by the election of a new Senator as well.
Deputy Senator for Lyonesse East, which faces the same problem, i.e. a new Senator
Deputy Regional Reserve Chair.
Emissaries are always needed.
To apply for any of these positions, please message Paffnia .
November 4, Woonsockens Day – Celebrating and commemorating the union of Woonsocket and Wordy on the anniversary of their XKI wedding.
November 5, Ananke Day – commemorating former Delegate and Islander great Ananke.
November 15, Shelter’s Taco Island Day – commemorating Taco Island’s most popular forum, Taco Island.
December 1, Improving Wordiness Day – celebrating and commemorating Wordy.
December 6, TITO Medal Day – commemorating and honoring TITO nations who have received earned medals in the service and sacrifice to the Islands.
WRITERS WANTED
Think you’re a dab hand with a phrase? Clever with the sharp image? Always wanted to see your name in print (outside of a police report)? TMS is looking for a few good writers. Those interested should discreetly contact Jabberwocky and leave a coded message.
Don’t buy your copy of TMS at the newsstand; have it delivered right to your mailbox!
10000islands.proboards.com/thread/35671/subscription-sign-list
The Mad Surfer
Editor: Jabberwocky
Contributing Writers: Jabberwocky, the peninsular, Aersoldorf
Advertising Department: Jabberwocky
We can party all we want.