The Mad Surfer, June 2020
Jun 10, 2020 14:34:05 GMT -5
Taco Island Charities, Paffnia, and 10 more like this
Post by The Mad Surfer on Jun 10, 2020 14:34:05 GMT -5
THE MAD SURFER
The Official Newspaper of the 10000 Islands
June 2020
“One reason that cats are happier than people is that they have no newspapers.”
― Gwendolyn Brooks
― Gwendolyn Brooks
Weather: balmy
Water temp: bath
Waves: nice medium swell from the southwest
POLITICS
Voters saw a new wrinkle in the latest Senatorial Elections. In the battle for Blue Canaria North, newcomer Grea Kriopia jumped off to an early lead over her opponent, longtime Island stalwart Shy Guy , a lead she never relinquished, garnering nearly 74% of the vote. This signals great things to come for a new generation of politicians that seem to be dominating the scene of late. Further evidence of that new trend could be found in the contest for New Republica South, which featured two relative newbs in Dorab and @control. This one proved to be hotly contested, but Control took a slight lead late in the race for a nearly photofinish ending.
Government Officials of 10000 Islands
Last Updated: May 30, 2020
The Council of Nine
Chief Executive: Markanite
Delegate: Lenlyvit
Minister of Labor: HumanSanity
Minister of Immigration: @thx1138
Minister of Education: The Tasmanian Islands
Senior Senator for Himes West: Marxist Germany
Senator for New Republica South: Control Senator for Lyonnesse East: United Royal Islands
Senator for Blue Canaria North: Grea Kriopia
--Deputy Minister of Education: Sargon Reman
--Deputy Minister of Immigration: Haivon
--Deputy Senator for Himes West: @centralruska
BUSINESS NEWS
The Regional Reserve has published the latest Report by mysterious, mostly missing money magnate, Mortimer M. Mortimer, with this terrific news about the petroleum industries:
June is proving to be an odd month here in the Islands. People started their summer travel a bit early this year. Many of them drove over to Cape Woonaveral to see all of the moon launches administered by PASA - the Paffnia Aeronautics and Space Administration. As a result of all this travel and the fact that spaceships need fuel too, people owning Gas Stations made out like bandits this month! Specific details are noted below (thanks, Paffnia!)
Mortimer Printout - June 2020
Economic Outlook
Sector: 3 - Regular Economy
Item: Gas Station
Bonus: 5,000 Ŧ
Mitigation: N/A
Adjustment: N/A
Stock Market:
From 01-May-2020 to 31-May-2020
Average Change: -11,361 Ŧ
Percent Change: -20%—Stocks Decline
Average Dividend (Base/Dividend): (350/280)
The report in its entirety can be found here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39243/june-moon.
TIC NEWSROOM STIPENDS
Every newspaper needs a lurid headline, and this is ours. In a move unprededented in the history of XKI, Taco Island Charities has announced a new program...or perhaps we should say NEWS program. This was their official press release:
At a time when journalism, especially online journalism, often struggles to stay afloat, TIC wants to support the engaging and informative work that helps our regional democracy and culture thrive. For this reason, TIC is proud to offer Newsroom Stipends! From May 1, 2020 onward, any publicly available publication will receive up to 20,000 per issue or per month with an issue published, whichever is less frequent. The publication is free to use or distribute its stipend however it wishes. TIC will determine the amount of the stipend for each publication based on its longevity, number of contributors/editors, and contribution to the Islands' culture and discourse.
All the more exciting for us, TMS has been proclaimed the recipient of the very first Newsroom Stipend, to the tune of 20,000 Tacos! Naturally, our staff is breathless with anticipation at the prospect of maybe receiving pay, after two years of diligent, assiduous, FREE work under strenuous conditions mere yards away from the beach! We figure if we sneak this into print while the publishers back is turned, we might enlist public support for our cause. Our landlords anxiously await!
SUMMER OLYMPICS
The Summer Olympics Event, organized by Grea Kriopia and HumanSanity , will run through the end of June. Be sure to get all the details in this Dispatch by our Cultural Ministry: www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=1372619. www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=1372619
ROLE PLAY WRAP UP
By
Sherlock Quixote
XKI Space Program
If you haven't begun investing in XKISP, you are missing the lunar boat. Why watch burgeoning space colonies growing in a lens in your telescope when you can actually BE one of the pioneers to make this giant leap for mankind? Gather together your tacos to invest in the necessary Shop Items to prepare for an historic launch. Now, you won't be the first. In fact, a cast of illuminaries have already staked their claims, on both near and far side of the milky orb. Those who participated in successful lunches were Tuga Nation's Dragon , Escanaba , XKI Space program ( represented by Haivon ), Woonsocket , Hakketomat , @echololia, @thx1138 , Almonaster , and Haganham . Our Official Cartographer Paffnia conducted a ceremony to honor XKI's first astronauts and colonists. Read all about it here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39235/space-launch-results-june-2020.
TMS goes to the moon?
To demonstrate TMS' enthusiastic support, our Editor in Chief has requested a launch window for his own lunar probe, with the intent of being the first to surf the lunar tide (please, just humor him). Worse, with his white hair, he'll want to be called the Silver Surfer!
One area in which TMS has been sadly remiss is in our coverage of Werewolf Games, which events are conducted by gamester extraordinaire Palman . Signups are in progress now for The Red Court War, which you can find here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39264/sign-ups-ww69-red-court.
Other recent WW games include Jon Snow and the Night's Watch; Mafia Universe; General Mountain Rescue; Chaos in the Carnival. Be sure to keep an eye on the Taco Island Games thread for exciting upcoming events. This is Role Play at its finest!
BEHIND THE NATION
This month we gain some insight into a TITO member who is also a member of TMS’ own journalistic staff, the one and only Haivon .
TMS: What country are you from?
H : Brazil
TMS: What’s the grossest food you ever had to eat to be polite?
H: Broccoli. I have hate of that food.
TMS: Who is your favorite musician?
H: John Williams. I'm a fan of movie soundtracks.
TMS: What afterschool activity did you quit as a kid, and why?
H: Chess. I'm not a fan of Physical sports and I'm definitively the worst of my class, so I had to find something else to do.
TMS: If you could turn the ocean into a liquid other than water, which one would you pick?
H: Vodka Orange Juice. (Editor's Note: Why not both?)
TMS: What is your favorite conspiracy theory? And do you believe in it?
H: The existence of the force.
TMS: Do you have a favorite author? If you could make them write for any TV show which TV show would it be.
H: My favorite author is Jeff Kinney, but I have no idea which TV show I would choose.
TMS: If you could ban 1 food from the face of the planet what would you ban?
H: CHEESE
TMS: What is your favorite hobby?
H: NationStates.
TMS: Who is your favorite comic book character?
H: I invented one when I was a 10 years old called 'Grande', or 'Great', in English.
TMS: What vice could you never give up?
H: I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, man.
TMS: If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?
H: Dog. You actually have free food for life.
TMS: What will be the title of your autobiography?
H: 'Why I didn't died yet and how I think that it's strange'
Thanks for the pithy words and idiosyncratic syntax, Mr. H.!
WA SCENE
By
@thx1138
WA SCENE for May
May was a bit dull in the hallowed halls of the World Assembly. I was mostly confined to my office/janitorial closet for fear of the COVID. When I did venture out, it was through vacant hallways to the WA commissary for some lackluster lasagna or mediocre meatloaf. Noticeably absent from the usually teeming dining hall was the normal melange of dignitaries, lobbyists, movers and shakers that usually provide enough buzz to distract from the not-so-great food.
For the most part, everyone just stayed home all month, consuming Netflix and potato chips and ill-gotten toilet paper. Resolutions came in by courier, fiery committee meetings were replaced with tedious Zoom conferences (into which I occasionally tapped), and remote from-home voting kept all but the heartiest (or foolhardiest) Delegates out of the picture.
That’s not to say there wasn’t WA activity. In fact, it was a fairly busy month in terms of legislation, but it was all pretty pedestrian: Road freight and dog tags and experiments on kittens…a few of my least favourite things. The debates were quieted, the subject matter was tepid, and the one potential hot tamale, which was in queue and ready to pop, got unseated by the unscrupulous agendists who to think their personal beliefs trump the democratic rights of the rest of the Assembly, to vote. Another sign that the institution itself is at risk of collapsing like an overbaked soufflé, under the weight of its own shoddy construction.
And so, the May WA recap isn’t quite the gourmet experience it could have been, but it does fill the void until a better meal comes along. Strap on the feedbag and dig right in:
GAR#487 - Ban on the Administration of Unwanted Substances: I, for one, want my substances, and, if I don’t want them, they sure as hell better not be administered. A variation on this res was previously shot down because was ambiguous. This replacement seemed to appease the majority, and it passed by a 60/40 margin. It is for sure not perfect, and it could see a repeal attempt in future, but for now it’s the law of the land.
SCR#304 - Commend Almonaster Nuevo: An easy winner, and a whopping 90% support for this commendation, citing the target’s region-building efforts, community involvement in several NS World Fairs, artistic contributions game-wide, and generally being a good shit. This is the kind of commendation I think we’d all like to see more of.
GA - Standards for International Road Freight (did not pass): Not super-glamourous but it was pretty well put together with some common sense recommendations. I think I voted in favour, but it was a rocky road otherwise, and when it hit 82% against, the wheels came off for good.
SCR#305 - Condemn Psychotic Dictatorships: Morover was a busy bee in May and this was the second of three resolutions submitted. Not much to argue against in this one, which put heavy emphasis on the target region’s maniacal leadership and anti-Assembly leanings. 85% supported adding the black mark to the region, which I am sure they’d have framed if they could.
GA - Repeal "Data Protection Accord" (did not pass): Data Protection accord was a pretty hard-fought win for MG, and after having put in such effort, not many in the WA are going to support a repeal for any reason, let alone the weak justification in this attempt. 85% stood by the target, and against the repeal.
SCR#306 - Commend Audioslavia: Big in the RP sporting community and having a lengthy history of mentoring and contributing to large-scale NS sporting events over years, Audioslavia got 94% support in their commendation.
GA - Requiring Promulgation of National Laws (did not pass): Unless you’re IA, the minute you put a word like ‘promulgation’ in the title of your resolution, you’re in for trouble. It’s too bad. It was a very reasonable and well-motivated piece of legislation, but you need that meat and potatoes support for a resolution that brushes up into NatSov territory. Coming off too hoity-toity can tip the balance against, and it did, just by a bit.
SCR#307 - Condemn Auphelia: An IC effort to put the ‘Auphel’ in Auphelia. I found it all a bit niche. It wasn’t RP, which is where I’m accustomed to seeing IC commendations, but rather a celebration of the nation’s IC character within their region and limited participation on the boards. It passed with 66% but at least for me, it lacked that broader community contribution that I look for in a commended nation.
GAR#488 - Repeal "Ensuring Safe Syringe Use": The argument for repeal here was pretty much all based in semantics, and not even really all that accurately. That said, the target got killed with 84% support, despite the pending replacement being kind of crappy. That got fixed, however, and a more comprehensive replacement made an appearance in June, and it’ll be covered here next month.
SCR#308 - Commend Candensia: Another really nicely rounded commendation, citing the target’s leadership, diplomatic abilities, and issue and WA authorship. 91% of voters found it extremely easy to say yes.
GAR#489 - Ethical Treatment of Animals in Research: This resolution gave everyone both warm and fuzzy feelings. Taking care of animals involved in experimentation is ambitious and noble in its way, if not a bit naïve. This somewhat more realistic draft of previously defeated legislation struck a better balance between the two, and saw solid support in its ascension to law.
GAR#490 - Military Identification Tag Act: Another common sense and pragmatic bit of business for the Assembly, ensuring the ability to identify combatants throughout the WA realm. Passed with a large majority.
SCR#309 - Commend Vilita and Turori: Another well-deserved nod to a large contributor in the RP sporting world, not the least of which is a unprecedented 11 victories in WCC sanctioned events. 91% support.
GA - Restrictions On Blood Sports (did not pass): This one straddled across two months, but including it here so it doesn’t get missed next time around. That’s it. It didn’t pass. People like their blood sports, I guess.
Hopefully that sustains you until we meet again, and if you are not too full, allow me to offer you this mint... It’s only wafer thin... Yeeees.... Bon Appetit.
FEATURED NATION
Deputy Minister Sargon Reman has appointed the Featured Nation for May: Thedairos !
The Constitutional Monarchy of Thedairos is a very large, efficient nation, notable for its anti-smoking policies, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 139 million Thedairosians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.
The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Industry, and Education. The average income tax rate is 39.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.
Be sure to get all the information on Thedairos here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39170/10000-islands-featured-nation-thedairos.
Poet Laureate Competition
It’s time yet again to sharpen both your quills and your wits and put those profound thoughts to paper. The always busy Ministry of Labor has announced the June Poet Laureate Contest. To quote HumanSanity :
Islanders, it's time for the Islands' June Poet Laureate Contest!
For this iteration, all poems must be related to the theme of anger. You may use any style of prose and center any topic, but submissions should explore and respond to the concept of anger.
Only citizens may submit, and there's a limit of one poem submission per citizen. All entries must be your original work. Please PM all entries to both HumanSanity and Ministry of Labor by 5:00 P.M. EDT (9 PM UST), Monday, June 8th. Do NOT post your entries here or otherwise share them with anyone else but HumanSanity. Good luck!
The topic is as current as can be, and pertinent to all of us in these trying times. Be sure to make your entry!
ASK SANDY
Featuring
Dear Sandy, My wife and I have both been temporarily laid-off due to the current COVID-19 crisis. Neither of us have worked for weeks, and we've been staying indoors to help stop the spread. We're not really accustomed to spending so much time together. We're both very career oriented, DI/NK, and without the regular time apart while working, we're starting to get on each others nerves. There's only so much cooking and scrabble and Netflix and chill. Any advice to keep us from hating each other by the time this is all over? –Cooped Up
Sandy:
Thanks for your question, and I'm sure there is a lot of cabin-fever going around. I'm going to be careful in how I answer because I'm not a health care professional, and don't want to give advice that contradicts whatever position your government is taking, but I think most jurisdictions are still okay with people going outside as long as they're being cautious. Alone time, or 'me' time is really important in a relationship, even when there is no pandemic. It is even more important now, when couples and families are spending nearly 24 hours a day cooped up together. Lately I've been going out for solo walks after sundown. The streets are pretty empty, and it's actually beautifully quiet. If you own a bike, there's nothing wrong with going for a ride and having some time to yourself. If you feel more comfortable wearing some sort of mask when you ride, then do it. Set a certain amount of time apart from your partner each day, even if it's just being in another room, and do your own thing. Take on a project like a large puzzle, or a good book, or even putting up a new coat of paint, and make sure there's a boundary between your 'me time' activities, and your activities as a couple. Take as much private time as you need, whenever you need it, and encourage your wife to do the same, but be sure to communicate with each other that you're not using that time to escape them (even though you might be) but rather you're taking time to be yourself. Stay safe!
Are you troubled too? Are you one of the many who seek advice for personal or professional problems? Ask Sandy Shoals !
FLOTSAM AND JETSAM
Calendar
June 22, Knight of TITO Day – Commemorating and honoring TITO Knights for their service and sacrifice.
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITES
The Mad Surfer is looking for highly qualified, motivated, dedicated writers. But maybe you would like to try your hand at it, too. Please notify Jabberwocky to apply.
Periodically, Markanite reveals an opening for the highly critical position of Casino Manager. Typically, the XKI Casino will open, operate for a few months until the Manager finds out how much work actually goes into it, after which it shuts down again, leaving a population of compulsive gamblers to seek their fix elsewhere. Our CE is seeking someone to give the position some long term stability. For job scope and to apply for this prestigious post, see this: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39276/hiring-casino-manager.
Ministry of Labor is looking for Award Designers. Apply to Markanite or new Awards Czar Hakketomat . Be sure to check out the job description here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39031/awards-designs-needed.
Delegate Kuriko is seeking members of the Ten thousand Islands Brigade of Official Endorsers (TIBOE). The job scope can be found here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39199/hiring-official-endorsers.
Ministry of Labor also has openings for Account Maskers. Read about it here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39180/seeking-account-maskers.
As always, XKI needs Emissaries to help conduct our foreign affairs. Please apply here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/37610/emissaries-needed.
You, too, can be one of the lucky few. Have TMS delivered right to your virtual door: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/35671/subscription-sign-list.
The Mad Surfer is:
Staff Writers: Jabberwocky , @thx1138 , Sandy Shoals , Sherlock Quixote
Editor in Chief/Circulation/Advertising: Jabberwocky
Associate Editor: Marxist Germany
