The Mad Surfer, October 2020 Oct 12, 2020 15:12:29 GMT -5 Taco Island Charities, Paffnia, and 7 more like this
Post by The Mad Surfer on Oct 12, 2020 15:12:29 GMT -5
THE MAD SURFER
The Official Newspaper of the 10000 Islands
They vomit forth their bile, and call it a newspaper.
– Friedrich Nietzsche,
Also Sprach Zarathustra
Water temp: without parallel
What an election it was! The election for Blue Canaria North proved to be uneventful, as Wischland (TIP) ran uncontested. Despite the fact that political nature abhors such a vacuum, TMS wishes Wischland the best of success, and we have every confidence she will be a beacon of this newest generation in XKI.
The election for New Republica South had all the excitement one might expect from a three way race, something of a rarity in these parts. Kohnhead (WIP) came out swinging, but soon hit the deck as incumbent Control (MSPP) took a big lead earlier than anticipated. With Control garnering better than 54% of the vote, Solarampa (Independent)ended up with a back seat view of the race. Again, we maintain it is good to see new blood in the mix. It prevents political inbreeding.
The contest for WA Delegate turned out to be a borderline sordid affair. Outgoing Delegate Lenlyvit was both popular and extremely effective, even groundbreaking as an International Diplomat. But we saw the gloves come off early as Hakketomat (TIP) began clandestinely to smear his opponent with outrageous accusations. HumanSanity (MSPP) calmly countered Hakke's slander, but nevertheless failed to demonstrate any actual proof that he had never committed vehicular manslaughter. Our dauntless investigative staff failed to find any relevant Court documents to support either HS's guilt or innocence…but XKI has been known to suffer floods and fires over the years, and court records are admittedly sketchy, at best. Meanwhile, HS's team rustled up enough of a grass roots movement to win the election with 69% of the vote. Fifty eight constituents made it to the voting booth for this important political event.
Immediately after the election, the vampire who would be Delegate Hakketomat was quick to level accusations of voter fraud and foreign meddling, calling for a recount. The Council did not respond to our inquiries.
Government Officials of 10000 Islands
Last Updated: September 2020
The Council of Nine
Chief Executive: Markanite
Minister of Labor: Free Las Pinas
Minister of Immigration: @thx1138
Minister of Education: Grea Kriopia
Senior Senator for Himes West: Wille-Harlia
Senator for New Republica South: Control
Senator for Lyonnesse East: Thedairos
Senator for Blue Canaria North: Wischland
-- Deputy Minister of Education: Kohnhead
--Deputy Senator for Himes West: Central Ruska , Margaux
It's time to rediscover the XKI Casino and a whole new level of entertainment! Come and experience all that's new at the XKI Casino. It's a whole new game!
You're gonna need a bigger wallet...
The shadowy figure behind The Regional Reserve , the mysterious and mostly missing money magnate Mortimer M. Mortimer released his monthly report clandestinely through alleged government branches buried beneath piles of bureaucratic redtape sufficient to mask his trail. Therein our sharpeyed reporters were able to ferret out critical information and break the code so we can pass that hitherto secret file to you, Our Readers. Once decoded we saw this:
El Neptuno, an undersea volcano situated out in the middle of the MinnaCaroline Ocean exploded. This made the seas of the 10000 Islands heave, and created an enormous tsunami! Those smart Islanders that had purchased a Tsunami Blocker from the item shop were spared the huge cleanups on their coastlines. Those that did not have Tsunami Blockers, well...let's just say there will be a massive cleanup on aisle 5!
Mortimer Printout - October 2020
Sector: 1 - National Improvements
Item: Tsunami Blocker
Bonus: 500 Ŧ
From 01-September-2020 to 29-September-2020
Average Change: +2,788 Ŧ
Percent Change: 6%—Stocks are growing
Average Dividend (Base/Dividend): (305/320)
Individual stock performances can be found here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40118/undersea-volcano-creates-monster-tsunami?page=1&scrollTo=1795581.
XKI Space ProgramWhile the initial rush to acquire lunar real estate seems to have subsided some, substantial opportunities are still available to those intrepid enough to take the risk. This month featured another space race, launched from Cape Taco. For the exciting details as told by Paffnia , and to see who won this month's space race (as well as other results), read this: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40120/space-launch-results-october-2020.
BEHIND THE NATION
First you knew him as our Deputy Cartographer General. Now he's the Senior Senator for Himes West. But He still managed to find time to chat with our reporter for a brief interview. we're talking, of course, about @wille-harlia.
TMS: What country are you from?
WH: The USA.
TMS: What’s the grossest food you ever had to eat to be polite?
WH: I don’t remember what it was made of, but these disgusting mini appetizer odurves (or however you spell it) that had some sort of fish in them.
TMS: Who is your favorite musician?
WH: I don't really have one. I more have favorite songs.
TMS: What afterschool activity did you quit as a kid, and why?
WH: Soccer, because, at least by my admission, none of the other kids tried.
TMS: If you could turn the ocean into a liquid other than water, which one would you pick?
WH: Either orange juice or Diet Coke.TMS: What is your favorite conspiracy theory? And do you believe in it?
WH:The Force, and no, I don't.
WH: Either orange juice or Diet Coke.
TMS: Do you have a favorite author? If you could make them write for any TV show which TV show would it be.
WH: Neal Shusterman, and I don’t quite know. I don’t think any of his shows would be as good as his books.
TMS: If you could ban 1 food from the face of the planet what would you ban?
WH: The eating of pets( dogs, cats, etc.)
TMS: What is your favorite hobby?
WH: Probably either squash tennis and golf, or NS.
TMS: Who is your favorite comic book character?
WH: Iron Man
TMS: What vice could you never give up?
WH: Probably junk food.
TMS: If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?
WH: A dog, they are the best.
TMS: What will be the title of your autobiography?
WH: How I achieved (my most notable achievement).
Thanks for taking the time out of the day of a busy local politician, WH!
Our indefatigable bulldog in the World Assembly Lobby, @thx1138 , roams the halls and corridors of our legislative body, just looking for trouble, and he usually finds it. Please pay particular attention to his preamble, which serves as an Editorial in these pages. His incisive insights rival the best of George Bernard Shaw in his prime.
In last month's preamble, I mentioned wanting to talk about regional Delegate toppling to undermine approvals to resolutions heading for quorum in the WA. It is a form of raiding that is not exclusive to the usual raider suspects. We saw evidence of it from the Hawks a couple months ago, so they do it, but there was also a Christian-right NS element that engaged in it a few months before that. The common thread among these groups be they regular raider or not, is (a) a complete disrespect for the democratic rights of everyone else in the game (no surprises there) and (b) a dangerously antisocial sense of entitlement. If this was a game of Monopoly, these guys would be stealing 100's from the bank while no one is looking, and calling that victory.
So, how does this all occur?: When a resolution is submitted, it requires x number of approvals from Delegates throughout the game, in a set period, in order to 'reach the floor' or go to vote among members. When a resolution is in this process of garnering approvals, raider groups will target the regions where the Delegate is already approving, and they will raid to bump the Delegate out of their position. When nations lose their Delegate position, their approval of the resolution goes with it. If these raiders target 10 or 20 regions per update during the approval period, they can keep a resolution from reaching the floor entirely.
Now raiders will try and make the case that this is all just harmless fun, but that's a song and dance we are used to by now. They also consider griefing regions and kicking out native nations harmless fun (because they're sociopaths). What sets this specific type of raiding apart, is that it has a direct impact on every single WA nation in the game, whereby a group of as little as 4 nations are making a decision to censor game content that they don't like, undermining the rights of every WA member to make their own decisions. In the case of the Christian-right element, they carried out this activity to prevent an abortion-related resolution from reaching quorum, and had success the first time, requiring a second submission.
Other groups like the Black Hawks and North Pacific Army have engaged in this practice to prevent condemnations of their allies from reaching the floor, or to prevent liberations of regions they are occupying as raiders. Not only are all of these groups undermining game democracy and the WA as an institution, they are also undermining the democratic process in each and every region they target. Nations vote for their Delegates in many cases, and again, small groups of nations are making decisions about regional governance that usurp and undermine that larger democratic process.
Personally, this stuff makes my blood boil, especially when it's being carried out by groups of raiders who claim to oppose fascism in this game, while simultaneously acting in a manner that is distinctly authoritarian and fascistic, in practice.
I, for one, think it's high time the penalty for this particular form of raiding be increased, and frankly, if a nation has that little respect for the WA as institution, and for the democratic process on which it is founded, and for the democratic voting rights of its members, then they should have no business being allowed to remain in the WA. In the next week I intend to begin a campaign to Delegates throughout the game to lobby NS for a permanent fix, be it mechanical or moderator enforced, and make this easily identified activity a WA ban-worthy offense, just like multying. Watch for it, then watch for the raider tears in NSGP (but only in small doses, because I'm convinced NSGP causes brain cancer).
Okay, end rant. Let's have a look at September's resolutions, which were blissfully corruption-free…
SCR#322 "Repeal 'Condemn the Red Fleet'": This was the first portion of a repeal and replace, citing some weaknesses in the target, not the least of which was the fact that it was something of a self-commend. Most were on-side with replacing the commendation and that replacement was ready to fly, so this repeal passed with 83% of votes.
GAR#510 "Marine Protection Act": It seems like there have been dozens of similar resolutions to this one, and so many of them have crashed and burned. The distinction here, I think, was simplicity. It's broad enough in scope to afford protection for sensitive marine habitats, and put some common-sense restrictions on bad practices, but it didn't try to wade too deeply into the minutia. The author gave nations some breathing room and recourse and respected the fact that most want these sorts of regulations, provided they're not being rammed down throats. That's usually enough to appease the NatSov crowd, and 76% support shows that this approach works.
SCR#323 "Repeal 'Commend Kuriko'": Most everyone agrees that Kuriko is infinitely commendable, but the WA, fearing that Kuri may simply rest on their laurels after having received the honour, covertly decided to pull it back and keep it just out of reach for a while longer. This should ensure that Kuriko continues to toil for the betterment of the community and keep nose to grindstone for the foreseeable future. 89% support in carrying out this diabolical motivational plot and in repealing the target.
GAR#511 "Ensuring Effectual Recycling": Another example of a WA resobation or was it masterlution (I can't recall if I ever decided what I should call these things). The Spanish would call it 'la puñeta' (feel free to google). A resolution that makes everyone feel like they've accomplished something wonderful, but ignores the emerging reality that recycling is an absolute waste of everyone's time. Decades of greenwashing have people convinced it makes a difference, but here are some facts: Roughly 91% of everything recycled ends up in landfills anyhow. Of that remaining 9% that gets recycled, the vast majority is metal, while only a fraction of that 9% is plastic products (the stuff that is an actual existential threat to the planet). The main reason for this is that 98% of plastic is not now and never has been recyclable. In fact, it's still way cheaper for companies to use virgin oil to make plastic products than it is to use recycled material, so none do. I guess I don't blame people for being uninformed – there has been a lot of deception – but passing recycling resolutions only serves to perpetuate the myth, while plastic continues to choke the world. Better we had a more honest conversation about all this than swallow yet another giant feel-good placebo that makes everyone feel better about polluting yet fixes nothing. In the interim, I'll file this resolution right beside 'carbon tax instead of aggressive emission reduction and tree planting'. Another recent sleight of hand environmental resolution that had a similar 85% support.
SC "Commend Altino" (did not pass): I suspect it sucks pretty hard to have someone let you know they're writing a commendation for you, then the thing makes quorum, only for it to get voted down. It can't be easy. Having founded a region like Karma, and keeping it upright for years is laudable, but then there's the rest. Touting one's contributions to a raider military is not going to win much favour with SC voters. The raiders seem hell-bent on trying to legitimize the act of griefing other nations in the game, but it's just not going to happen. 75% against.
GA "Repeal 'Supporting and Valuing the Humanities'" (did not pass): An attempt at repeal that adopted the kind of misdirecting language and broken logic of the uber-capitalists, somehow equating the continued support of education with an inevitable nuclear catastrophe. The scare tactics failed to scare up much support for the repeal, which went down by a 2 to 1 margin.
SCR#324 "Commend The Red Fleet': The replacing commendation put the correct emphasis on TRF's extensive efforts against Nazi and Fascist elements in game, and their ongoing support of allied Socialist regions, which are often targeted by those fash elements. Most importantly, the commendation now serves as an accurate historic document authored by a neutral third party. 81% support.
GAR#512 "Commercial Arbitration Recognition": Author Cretox State might be taking lessons from IA on how to make relatively simple subjects more mind-numbing than necessary. I found my eyes glazing about halfway through my first read, but after a cup of strong coffee, I managed to get to the end. This resolution left me with more questions than answers. It asks a lot of nations in terms of handing over autonomy to a third party without giving much explanation as to why they should, or who that third party would specifically be. The kicker for me, however, was the grocery list of potential ways off the hook for nations found to be on the wrong side of arbitration decisions. I was against this one, but in the minority as 72% voted in favour.
SCR#325 "Liberate Syria": See, this is exactly what I was talking about above. If Kuriko was still commended at this point, who knows if this would ever have been written? For all we know, Kuriko might have been winging away to Vegas for a commended nations convention or something. Instead, we got this earnest effort to crack open the recently passworded Syria and chase out some raiders. This thing was well up in the near 90% range when the raiders departed, tail between legs. There was a concerted effort to tank the resolution after that, since the lib was no longer necessary, but it still squeaked by with 52% support. No harm either way. Syria is now less attractive for raiders looking to take it over, and Kuriko gets another successful SC to add to the list.
GA "Pedagogical Freedom" (did not pass): This was some kind of weird attempt to codify parent's rights to home school their children within some religious framework as opposed to providing them access to an education that wouldn't groom them for future cult leadership. No one was having this, and it failed with 89% of voters opposing.
SCR#326 "Condemn Ever-Wandering Souls": Black Hawks raider seeking to condemn another Black Hawks raider is just one baddie trying to get another baddie a badge. One of the better comments in the XKI forum thread summed it up nicely: 'Replace the negative first verb of every full sentence (Distressed, Anguished) with a positive/awed one and it becomes a commendation.' Raider tend to see condemnations as badges of honour, so often it's best to give them no attention either way. Unfortunately, 62% of voters missed the memo and passed the thing, but it's an easy repeal.
GAR#513 "Sovereign Justice Accord": Interesting name for a resolution that has nothing whatsoever to do with sovereignty. No real explanation as to how this proposal is supposed to work in practice, on matters where there is no clearly established and harmonized WA law, but it goes right ahead in removing nation's ability to enforce their law when a transgression has occurred against them, particularly if the other nation in the conflict has no such statutes. The devil is in the details on this sort of resolution, and this one is big on devil, and noticeably short on detail. That said, it got the pass from 80% of voters, so most are apparently okay with yielding their rights under their own law, to the whims of an arbitrary judiciary that may not operate by the same rules.
SC "Condemn The Land of Kings and Emperors": As condemnations go, this one hit the mark. LKE are an exclusive raider region with literally no redeeming qualities. They raid, they pile, they grief, and they were at least peripherally involved in the past use of illegal scripts. They do benefit from a wide group of raider friends and allies, most notably TNP. WALL factored in this one failing to pass, much as previous attempts have failed to pass, even though the region should be condemned for their ongoing, egregious presence in the game.
GAR#514 "Ending School Segregation": Straightforward, well intentioned, no caveats. This was just a good resolution and passed easily with 87% support.
Until next month, when we dig into the bag for a review of October's tricks and treats, stay safe.
With the U.S. Presidential election looming large on the horizon, this letter from one of my faithful readers seems particularly resonant.
My brother Ted is running for public office in our state. I never much liked Ted, even when we were children, and I like him less today. He's the kind who won't hesitate to rush a litter of puppies to the animal pound to be put down. I care for our elderly parents; Ted refuses to help in any way, demonstrating his cold and callous attitude toward the old and infirm. I see an utter disregard for ethical or moral considerations. My antipathy toward Ted is widely known. Nonetheless, he and the rest of my family insist I must vote for him because "blood is thicker than water." I don't even think he's a good human, let alone capable of being a good politician and serving the public. What should I do? -- Voter Dilemma
Dear Voter: Your brother's lack of ethics, morals, or compassion make him singularly qualified for the world of politics; consider the American President, for example. However, as he appears to be devoid of humanity, I would refrain from voting for him, and neither should you. Stick to your guns and vote for a better candidate. You are not required to discuss this with anyone, including your family. Voting is done privately for a good reason.
Having marital problems? Need advice for the lovelorn? Personal or career changes on your mind? Ask Sandy Shoals !
HOUSE CUP AND SHIELD COMPETITION
Our Senator of Lyonesse East, Thedairos , is hosting the House Cup and Shield Competition for October.
The following rules apply for accelerator eligibility:
1. You must be a WA Islander.
2. You must have a forum account for at least 2 months.
3. You must have made at least 10 posts in the forum.
This is a recruiting contest. For rules and conditions, see the Senator's thread: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/39788/house-shield-competition-october-2020.
POET LAUREATE CONTEST
Ministry of Labor has announced its Fall Poet Laureate Contest. Eager contestants are filling out their applications as they hurry to unseat reigning champion Aersoldorf , who wins so often the prize should be named after him postmortem. For this iteration of the contest, participants must touch on the concept of regret. Additionally, any style of poetry can be utilized for as long as the theme is followed.
Only citizens may submit, and there's a limit of one poem submission per citizen. All entries must be your original work. Please PM all entries to both Free Las Pinas and Ministry of Labor by 8:00 P.M. EDT (12 A.M. UST), Monday, October 8th. Do NOT post your entries here or otherwise share them with anyone else but Free Las Pinas. Good luck!
Just before we went to press voting had already opened. There are some topnotch writers in this competition, and we urge our readers to…read them all. Start here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40107/poet-laureate-contest-10-20?page=1&scrollTo=1795805.
In truth, some contestants were so full of inspiration, it simply spilled out onto our RMB recently, as nooooooooooooooo , who has since left XKI, penned these witty lines in impromptu fashion, rivaling the best of William Carlos Williams:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I regret making this poem
(reprinted with permission of author)
Now let us compare that with a short piece by Williams (a favorite of our Editor), The Red Wheelbarrow:
so much depends
a red wheel
glazed with rain
beside the white
(reprinted entirely without permission of author)
There, see what we mean?
FLOTSAM AND JETSAM
Cultural Officer Grea Kriopia has named September’s Featured Nation, namely Yuwa . Congratulations to Yuwa for having achieved this distinction.
The Constitutional Sultanate of Yuwa is a huge, cultured nation, ruled by Sultan Yuwa Zara with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, hard-working population of 800 million Yurans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.
For the ceremony in its entirety, go here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40037/10000-islands-featured-nation-yuwa.
The Cultural Office is also hosting a Movie Night on October 10. This increasingly popular event now occurs on a weekly basis. For details, read this: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40148/movie-night-10.
The Mad Surfer is looking for highly qualified, motivated, dedicated writers. But maybe you would like to try your hand at it, too. And now WE CAN PAY YOU! Yes, we actually now have a payroll department! Pay commensurate with talent and ability to ingratiate oneself with Editor. Stringent job examination includes placing a mirror in front of your mouth to see if it fogs up. Please notify Jabberwocky or The Mad Surfer to apply.
The Ministry of Labor has announced an opening for the newly formed Dispatch Manager.
Following the passage of NS 315-4, the Ministry of Education is responsible for maintaining Welcome Guides.
The Dispatch Manager is tasked with ensuring the on-site Welcome Guide contains updated information and stays organized.
The Dispatch Manager is paid 2,000 Shape per month. To apply, PM Minister of Education Grea Kriopia with a statement of purpose.
As always, XKI needs Emissaries to help conduct our foreign affairs. Please apply here: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/37610/emissaries-needed.
These job opening and more can be found publicly posted here: 10000islands.proboards.com/board/71/10000-islands-job-opportunities.
You, too, can be one of the lucky few. Have TMS delivered right to your virtual door: 10000islands.proboards.com/thread/35671/subscription-sign-list.
The Mad Surfer is:
Staff Writers: Jabberwocky , @thx1138 , Sandy Shoals
Editor in Chief/Circulation/Advertising: Jabberwocky
Associate Editor: Grea Kriopia