Taco Island Vampire Court: Minskiev v. Sarah Bread

[Donnee]

You should formally address the Court as "Your Honor, Bloodthirsty Vampire, sir."

*Another free tip before trial: Always refer to your opponent's lawyer as "Learned Counsel". It's a left-handed compliment that drives them crazy and lets the Judge know you think opposing counsel is an idiot.

[Jabberwocky]

I used your tip once, as a juror. The judge talked to us about witness credibility. I asked him if the question of credibility extended to the learned counsel. He laughed and confirmed that it sure did.

[Donnee]

ROFL!!

[Jabberwocky]

Well, a couple of those attorneys seemed to think it was Academy Award season, putting on polished performances.

[Donnee]

Many times the performances are more for their clients than the judge or jury. It shows their getting their money's worth.

[Jabberwocky]

I bet they practice in front of a mirror.

[Donnee]

Yep. Been there, done that.

[Jabberwocky]

You practice in front of a mirror?

[Donnee]

I practiced once in front of my wife. She said I sounded like a bad used car salesman. So I dumped her for my mirror.

[Jabberwocky]

I practice my Bob Dylan impersonation for my wife. She wishes I wouldn't.

[Donnee]

We must NEVER let our wives get together to compare notes.

[Jabberwocky]

Oh, the horror! The horror!

[Comfed]

Why can't you just call them an idiot?

[Liberdon]

That’ll surely earn them a night on the couch.

[Comfed]

Aug 30, 2022 6:07:26 GMT -5 Liberdon said:

That’ll surely earn them a night on the couch.

I thought we were still talking about lawyers.

[Liberdon]

Oh, well in that case, it’s just bad manners.

[Donnee]

Aug 30, 2022 6:07:26 GMT -5 Liberdon said:

That’ll surely earn them a night on the couch.

For me it'd be more like locked in the garage overnight...with the car running....

[Liberdon]

With current gas prices, that’ll cost you a fortune.

[Donnee]

It'll serve her right.

[Jabberwocky]

That'll teach her.

[Liberdon]

Now we know who’s the bread-maker and who’s the spender in the family.

[Jabberwocky]

My Mom taught me to bake bread when I was in high school.

[Comfed]

Did you burn the house down while doing it?

[Jabberwocky]

No. That was from baking pies.

[Comfed]

Did you put propane gas in the pies?

[Donnee]

Doesn't everybody?

[Jabberwocky]

Clearly your baking skills leave a little to be desired.

[Donnee]

Guilty as charged.

[Liberdon]

Oct 3, 2022 16:56:44 GMT -5 Donnee said:

Guilty as charged.

Bad at baking? You’d be a perfect fit for the Taco Island Restaurant. You’re hired!

[Donnee]

I'm going on strike.