Advice I Would Give

[Twobagger]

As this thread is titled "Advice I Would Give," let's post the worst advice ever.

[Le Crochet]

Remember when shaving your cat to start at the belly.

[Sinn Féin's Ireland]

Buy houses in the Chernobyl area. i hear they're quite good value.

[Le Crochet]

Always challenge the Irish to drinking games... they can't hold their liquor.

[Twobagger]

When you assemble a large cult following, get everyone to change their names to match yours.

[The United Antarctic]

When you get a winning lottery ticket, burn it.

[Noyzistan]

the first thing you want to do after buying a new car is to crash test it into you garage.

[Le Crochet]

Always tell yourself you can't do something that way you get a nice surprise if you can.

[Schattental]

Gamble in Las Vegas.

[Le Crochet]

Always eat garlic before you go on a date.

[Twobagger]

For men: When on a date, show your date how manly you are by farting loudly in the car.

[Le Crochet]

For Expectant Fathers: Wait as long as possible before taking the soon-to-be mother to see the doctor.

[Boltor]

For best effect, always take 50 times the recomended medical prescription, even if the prescription is from a certified doctor.

[Le Crochet]

Lie to federal agents...they love it!

[Lichto]

Always strap a bomb to yourself when taking a flight. It's good to have in case someone hijacks the plane.

[Le Crochet]

Give children lots of sugar before trying to put them to bed.

[Twobagger]

In arguments: "if you can't win with logic, go for volume."

[Le Crochet]

Eat the Yellow Snow!!!

[Twobagger]

when in doubt, do as Ozzy Osbourne would do.

[Le Crochet]

Trust anyone in a dark trench coat.

[Twobagger]

Always pick up hitchhikers; sometimes they have candy.

[Le Crochet]

Take health tips from Dr. Kevorkian.

[Anime Daisuki]

Mame Daifuku

[Le Crochet]

Lick finger then insert into electrical socket.

[Twobagger]

Triple post. It's a good idea.

[Le Crochet]

Use a turtle as your avatar.

[Twobagger]

(nothing wrong with turtles. Pansy.)

Kick puppies. It's a rush.

[Le Crochet]

(I know... I just thought I'd tweak you)

Call everyone around you a pansy.

[The United Antarctic]

Say LC can't spam.

[Boltor]

When preparing for a marathon, just don't, you'll be fine, it's only 42 miles. It'll take like 30 minutes! Maybe an energy drink before the race, but don't do 8 weeks training, that will burn all your energy reserves, leaving you with nothing on the day.