Have I gone too far?

[Free Guns For All]

I've been getting a bit of hate on Facebook today. Something I thought was completely harmless has been blown WAY out of proportion. Anyway, here's the conversation (which I will edit as new comments come up). Be honest, did I go too far?
FOR NON-AUSTRALIANS: Jim Stynes was a football coach who died of cancer a few hours before this was posted.

Me: Can I make a joke about Jim Stynes yet? Please?

Friend 1: You should never make a joke about the great man, it's just f**ked If you do

Me: There's a part of me that wants to make one just because you posted that.

Friend 1: you're just a f**king idiot then [Gunny]

Me: No-one complained when I did it to Amy Winehouse. Why should I back down when the person was more highly respected?

Friend 1: cause amy winehouse brought it upon herself, Jim Stynes didn't, your just a f**khead

Me: I'm an equal opportunist. That means I refuse to see one person as being better than someone else*. If you don't like it, you know how to unfriend me.
*Exception: Kim Kardashian.

Friend 1: i plan to now, heartless c**t

Me: Meh

Me: And he's gone. Clearly, he took what I said here WAY to seriously. I've said this before and I'll say it again: 95% of the stuff I post here is designed as a joke and is NOT, in any way, meant to be taken seriously. This status was not part of that 5%.

Cousin: C'mon [Gunny], have a little respect, there's a difference between having a joke and just taking it too far.

Me: What I posted there was not only just a joke, but that's as far as I intended to take it. It's not my fault if someone gets offended, since I make it pretty clear that you're not meant to take me seriously in the first place. This is exactly the same problem The Chasers had. Besides, this is hardly the most offensive I've been.

Cousin: I understand you wanted to joke about this, but a lot of people would see this as something that you definitely do not joke about. Imagine what his family is going through, and hypothetically say if his family saw this they would be quite offended... And you should know better not to joke about cancer seeing as its been in our family

Me: I'm not trying to offend anyone. THAT'S the thing I find most shocking about this. I had no intention of doing anything worse than the first post, and I do not regret anything I posted here today. The world is getting too politically correct, and in my own little way this is how I shall protest. I can't deny that cancer is a serious problem, but I don't see that as a reason to shy away from making jokes about it. I have sympathy for the Stynes family, though only as much as I was a fan of him (which, I'll admit, wasn't much. Not because I didn't like him, but because I didn't really follow his career).

Friend 2: I seriously don't know what kind of joke you can make. Wasn't that kind of public figure.

Me: Exactly. I had nothing. If I did have something I'd have posted that rather than asking if I could.

Friend 3: Post it f**king anyway. Seriously, the idea of the air we breathe is bound to offend someone.
Though it's fair to say he didn't exactly have the luck of the irish.
There, that rustle anyone's jimmies?

Me: Finally. Some support.

Brother: can a demon get into heaven?

[Shizensky]

Someone's always going to be offended by something, it's kinda just how it goes. Cancer is a touchy subject for some people.

In the US version of The Office one of the characters was supposed to go on a little monologue about how another one of the characters is crazy. When to Loony University, majored in Phsyco, etc. They pulled it because in early screenings there was someone who had a 'crazy' person in her family and she was offended.

It's a lot like your Amy Winehouse comparison, really. If it's a respected member of the community people expect a full round of condolences. If it's someone like Michael Jackson we're almost expected to make jokes. We don't care about his family, or even his children. We care more about the chuckles.

It is kind of weird though. For some entertainers, be they coaches or singers, we're supposed to talk about how sorry we are. For others we're almost expected to join in with the late night comics and crack a few jokes.

[Cerb]

I dunno, it's borderline. I know my wife couldn't resist putting up "Houston, we have a problem" after Whitney died.

I think in some ways it's human nature to joke about things which shouldn't really be joked about. I guess you have to judge the figure, and then judge the audience. Then judge if they can hear what you are saying inside their head so they don't imply tone to your text.

Then you have to decide if you give a crap and unleash the dogs of war.

Given by the reaction of those you addressed, I'd say your audience definately thinks you went to far. Now you have to decide if they are right and whether you need to make amends.

[hoodhat]

you didn't go to far. there is never a bad or good time to make a joke about someone, the world revolves around people who will make jokes and people laugh at them, otherwise the comedians would not have jobs. is clear that cancer is a sensitive issue and many people are not going to like that but you're just expressing yourself

[Olivia the Pig]

It's a little over the top, but really, you could've been MUCH worse than that. People can be really sensitive to deaths of others. It's best to wait after the hysteria to start making jokes.

[Calanria]

I'm one who's tentative around speaking ill of the dead. But I didn't really see much of a problem in your conversation line. I don't like it, but it's not too far.

[aishagrandduchy]

I dont think you went too far, in fact i encourage joking about a person's death more than i do grieving about it. It's pointless to be bogged down by the death of person, especially that of a social figure (seeing as they dont remotely contribute to your personal political needs). Some people say that joking about sensitive issues is a mental compensation of sorts. Whether or not that's true doesn't really matter. Death is a part of life.

On the issue of being "considerate" or "sensitive", i feel like emotional sensitivity, specifically in regards to death, is more often than not, useless. Emotional stress inhibit's progress and the natural flow of life.

I especially dont support grief over social figure's though, especially since most people who grieve probably never met said person. He's human, and doesn't deserve any more special treatment or attention than anyone, regardless of what he did. Though i admit that i am personally calloused to death, i'd like to think this applies to any and everything.

[Free Guns For All]

I like the way you think.

[New Rogernomics]

I just avoid making tasteless jokes, sarcasm is easier to pull off.

[Davidian]

Wow.

Tbh, I'm more taken aback by your friend's comment about Winehouse. I'm no fan and I really didn't care when she died, but the justification is she 'brought it on herself'. Even if she didn't die by cancer or w/e else, that seems a bit harsh to say that.

She was obviously suffering from emotional/mental issues and abusing alcohol. In the technical sense she brought it on herself by becoming addicted in the first place. But unless you're planning on committing suicide then and there (which is still down to struggling with issues), then I doubt someone like her made the conscious decision to take a drink knowing however many years later would result in her death.

Saying you should have respect but condemning someone for suffering substance addictions and depression (or whatever)? That's cold as hell.

Anyways, I digress. Nah I don't think it's going too far. I probably wouldn't make a joke like that, but it's not like you're laughing in his family's faces. It's just a joke between friends on FB.

[Free Guns For All]

May 6, 2012 4:30:50 GMT -5 Davidian said:

It's just a joke between friends on FB.

I'm not sure you picked this up from the conversation, but, ah...we're not friends anymore.

Anyway, I'm posting here again because a friend of mine (not one from that conversation) was recently condemned in her philosophy class for something she said. Let's see what you guys think. The class was asked to think about this situation:

You're a train driver. You've realised the breaks of your train are faulty but still working. You start breaking and you're heading into a tunnel. Some kids are playing in the tunnel. If you drive into the tunnel you will kill them. However, there is a side rail you can go on. There's a man working on the tracks here. If you go down this track you will kill him. Which do you choose?

Everyone but my friend: side rail because you only kill one person and save the lives of the kids.
My friend: Tunnel because the kids were stupid enough to play in an active train tunnel and the rail worker is just doing his job.

[Mal]

I might have missed it, but for me it would depend on what the joke was. I'm a survivor and I've lost a few co-workers to that disease. I don't know what the particular post was, so I can't say.

If it was a joke about cancer and the resultant death, it might be out of line.

If it was a joke about something else about the man that had been a prior source of humor, I would say no.

For example, the late Billy Martin was a manager of the New York Yankees. He was fired multiple times by the late George Steinbrenner. If someone made a joke about his multiple firings, I don't think it would be out of line.

But as he died in a car accident, allegedly because he was drinking and driving, I don't know if a joke about that would be appropriate.

To be sure, we are getting to be a world of over-sensitive people. And as far as Amy W. goes, I won't post my thoughts on that because this isn't the place.

[Gourgess]

Can't say that I would particularly make that kind of joke, but I'm not going to be hypocritical and say that I've never made death/cancer jokes and/or laughed at them.

Meh, my issue is that Friend 1, in his first reply, seemed to imply that the joke crossed boundaries since this coach was a "great man." Personally, if I was going to be offended, I would go with the cancer aspect.

So: did you go too far? Nope I don't think so. Probably wasn't good taste to make that joke, which can hardly be called a joke and not a statement, so soon after the death. But most of the reactions to your status were a bit much I think.

[Daelaam]

TBH, I don't know who all these celebrities are, but I'll go with what Gourgess said. I don't make fun of these stuff, nor do I laugh at jokes that include these sort of stuff. But seriously, the discussion between you and Friend 1 was not even about him having cancer. It was you jokingly asking his permission to make fun of the celebrity you were discussing about. You didn't even mock the said celebrity, and was just jokingly trying to get his permission to do so. I don't see why anyone would get offended by that, though there's the chance that Friend 1 was simply having a horrid day, and found this as a way to get rid of his stress.

Conclusion: Nope, you didn't take it too far. But if you threaten to make fun of Karen Gillan (who played as Amy Pond in Doctor Who), I will hunt you down and... and... do something. <_< >_>

[New Rogernomics]

Jul 2, 2012 5:45:16 GMT -5 Daelaam said:

TBH, I don't know who all these celebrities are, but I'll go with what Gourgess said. I don't make fun of these stuff, nor do I laugh at jokes that include these sort of stuff. But seriously, the discussion between you and Friend 1 was not even about him having cancer. It was you jokingly asking his permission to make fun of the celebrity you were discussing about. You didn't even mock the said celebrity, and was just jokingly trying to get his permission to do so. I don't see why anyone would get offended by that, though there's the chance that Friend 1 was simply having a horrid day, and found this as a way to get rid of his stress.

Conclusion: Nope, you didn't take it too far. But if you threaten to make fun of Karen Gillan (who played as Amy Pond in Doctor Who), I will hunt you down and... and... do something. <_< >_>

I prefer the old Doctor who series, but the new stuff is okay.