KINGDOM PROCLAMATION: SCOW CREEK ANNEXES QÚPSÓG

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19 JULY / 20 JUL SC
For immediate Release

THOUSANDS OF CUBIC YARDS OF SPOILS DUMPED IN TISÓ IQEPO WILDERNESS AREA

ER'ŠU ROVEJI, SCOW CREEK: Several thousand tons of dredge spoils have mysteriously been dumped on the eastern end of the Tisó Iqupo Wilderness area in the Kingdom of Scow Creek, and no one is quite sure how they got there.

The spoils were discovered by three fishermen who had headed out to the area to fish for stripers, currently enaged in their seasonal run along the Kingdom's barrier beaches.

"We were cruising east towards the furthest end of the wilderness area, when suddenly these sand mountains came into view," said Ryan Quinn, captain of the Quinn Sea. "I was here just last week, and this was all low and flat."

According to Quinn and his crew, there were no dredging vessels, barges or other large ships in the area.

The wilderness area, while open to the public, serves as both a natural preserve for nesting seabirds and as a productive fishing and shellfishing area for residents.

"The tern nesting areas are completely wiped out," added Quinn, who also reported seeing thousands of hardshell clams, oysters, and scallops mixed in with the dumped spoils.

According to Todd McMillan with the Scow Creek Coast Guard, no dredging was planned and the appearance of spoils is a mystery. "The presence of shellfish suggest that someone dredged the bays behind the barrier island, or the channel that separates us from Qúpsóg" he suggested.

The wilderness area represents the furthest reaches of the Kingdom of Scow Creek, and is separated from the neighboring Kingdom of Qúpsóg by a narrow shipping channel. Hundreds of years ago the two Kingdoms were connected, but a winter storm breached the beach and divided them. The breach has since grown in depth and width, and has become a major shipping lane. The nature of the shifting channel between Scow Creek and Qúpsóg has long resulted in an ill-defined border between the Kingdoms, though both have used the channel without incident. The two nations have divergent - and clashing - cultures, as Qúpsóg (or "Cupsogue" in the native tongue) has developed into a wealthy, highly-regulated summer playground for wealthy transients.

As of press time, a spokesmen from the Governing Club of Cupsogue declined comment.

[Deleted]

20 JULY / 21 JUL SC
For immediate Release

SPOILS LINKED TO ILLEGAL CHANNEL DREDGING BY QÚPSÓG

ER'ŠU ROVEJI, SCOW CREEK: The mountains of dredge spoils that were found on the eastern end of the Tisó Iqupo Wilderness area by three fishermen yesterday apparently originated from a “midnight dredging operation,” according to Scow Creek Coast Guard Commandant Raúl Rivera.

Rivera confirmed that there were no dredging operations planned anywhere in the area, an operation that is normally carried out with the involvement of both the Coast Guard and the Ministry of the Environment.

According to Rivera, the Coast Guard dispatched an immediate investigation and discovered considerable changes in the charted channel depth of the Orišesmo Channel, which separates the Wilderness area from the neighboring Kingdom of Qúpsóg.

“This channel is normally thirty feet wide and ten to twelve feet deep at mean high water, and it is at least twice as deep and perhaps a hundred feet across now. It also has been extended and has destroyed a productive shellfishing flat on the back side of the islands, before suddenly running east towards Qúpsóg. This eastern extension is an entirely new channel.”

When asked if he suspected the operation to have originated in Qúpsóg, the Commandant replied, “We are investigating all possibilities.”

The Scow Creek Environment Ministry estimates that shellfish with a retail value of at least USD 400,000 (1.6 million milburn) was destroyed in the operation. The ministry confirmed that Environment Minister Tódd Eri'cksén left on a morning boat for an emergency meeting with officials at the Governing Club of Cupsogue.

Meanwhile, local consensus points the finger squarely at that kingdom. Speaking in a nearby coffee shop, local resident Ame Gold said, “You know it’s those arrogant bastards in Qúpsóg…they probably just wanted deeper waterways for their d**ned yachts….and you don’t think they’d dump the stinking spoils, with rotting fish and clams, on their own precious beach, do you?”

Two days into the incident, the Governing Club of Cupsogue continues to decline comment.

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24 JULY / 25 JUL SC
For immediate Release

QÚPSÓG ADMITS TO DREDGING INCIDENT, DENIES VALIDITY OF SCOW CREEK KINGDOM

CHERRY GROVE, SCOW CREEK: The visit by Scow Creek Environment Minister Tódd Eri'cksén to the Governing Club of Cupsogue revealed not only the source of the mountains of dredge spoils that were found on the eastern end of the Tisó Iqepo Wilderness, but also resulted in a shocking press statement by the neighboring kingdom denying the validity of the Scow Creek Kingdom’s authority.

After several days of intense and reportedly heated discussions, Eri'cksén reported that officials of the Governing Club admitted to the midnight dredge operation of the channel separating the nations, as well as the dumping of the spoils on Scow Creek territory. The Governing Club issued a statement of its own, however, revealing a perspective that could spell brewing trouble between the Kingdoms.

A statement by Kín Woodhouse, CEO of the WoodHouse Financial Corporation and spokesman for the Governing Club, said,

“It is the position of the people of Cupsogue that the current Scow Creek government is the result of an illegal rebellion and a treasonous, cowardly act of arson against its rightful authorities. It is beyond legal question that the lands under the control of Scow Creek were deeded by the continental Federation to the people of Woods Point, who were driven out simply for asserting their lawful rights to the land. Our people have resettled in Cuspogue, where we have been warmly welcomed and rebuilt our businesses and lives. We are outraged that the Scow Creek ‘Monarchy’ is once again harassing us simply for going about our daily business.

It was necessary to dredge the navigation channels for our more robust vessels to safely pass, and as we continue our legal claim to the lands controlled by Scow Creek, it was entirely within our right to place the spoils in this undeveloped location where no citizens would be impacted.”

The residents of Woods Point were driven out of Scow Creek after an attempt by the wealthy Woods Point community to control the winter oil supplies, block land and water passage by residents of the other 25 communities, and an attempt at a massive eminent domain project to build a highway through the communities. Most “Pointers,” as they were called, re-settled in Cupsogue 10 years ago and quickly gained control of the governing structures of the more laid-back, native Cupsoguans.

King Tuathal I of Scow Creek has called the Assembly into a rare summer session to discuss the Kingdom’s response to the statement.

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26 July / 27 July SC

Editorial: Qúpsóg Dredging: Something Missing
Brus Mikl, Editor

Yes, there are thousands of pounds of dredge spoils missing from the seafloor. And yes, up to 1.6 Mill worth of shellfish is now missing from our productive bays. But that’s not all.

The recent response by Governing Club of Cupsogue to the overtures of Scow Creek's Minister of the Environment should not be dismissed as a childish outburst designed to undercut Scow Creek’s authority. The response is a cleverly-designed ruse to deflect attention from the unanswered question as to why this incident happened in the first place.

Oh, sure, Clubhouse spokesman Kín Woodhouse made it clear in his press statement:

“It was necessary to dredge the navigation channels for our more robust vessels to safely pass…”

And therein lies the question: What “robust vessels?”

The reality is that the working and pleasure craft of Scow Creek – fishing vessels, trawlers, Coast Guard patrol boats, cargo and trade ships – have all been using the Orišesmo Channel without incident for years. The pleasure yachts owned by the wealthy scions of Qúpsóg are impressive and imposing – but they do not have drafts that extend more than 10 feet below the waterline. According to our own Coast Guard, the channel was dredged to a depth of almost 24 feet. As any of our local mariners could affirm, there is not a single vessel in all of Qúpsóg that has a draft that deep.

To object to and decry the trespass of dumped spoils and the destruction of shellfish beds and tern nesting grounds is a legitimate response by our officials. But let us not be so focused on these tragedies that we miss the bigger picture here: The Woodhouse financial industry does not spend money for the hell of it, and certainly not without expectations of a healthy monetary reward. This was not a routine dredging operation to safeguard existing pleasure yachts.

Before the current diplomatic maneuvers end, we must turn our attention to what is glaringly missing from this story: a legitimate explanation as to what kind of “robust vessels” are preparing to enter Qúpsóg.

Brus Mikl is the Editor of the Scow Creek Island News.

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COAST GUARD DETAINS "SHIPS OF HORRORS;" TOXINS-FOR-GUNS PLOT UNCOVERED

CHERRY GROVE, SCOW CREEK: In a rapidly developing story, the Scow Creek Coast Guard has detained two unflagged commercial ships laden with diseased animals and vials of biological toxins attempting to pass through the newly-dredged Orišesmo Channel between the Kingdom and neighboring Qúpsóg.

“The holds of these ships are a horror story,” states Raúl Rivera, Commandant of the Coast Guard. “I have never seen anything like this in my entire career.”

The two ships, which contained no identifying registration numbers or flag of origin, attempted to pass through the channel on Midsummer 3, the last night of the three-day national festival, ostensibly in the hopes that the small Coast Guard would distracted by merriment taking place throughout the Kingdom and the closing of government offices for the holiday. They were spotted by a boater, who immediately called in the Guard. Upon boarding, the Guard discovered a nightmare.

“Hundreds of animals, some dead, and many suffering from varying diseases and ailments. I can’t even begin the describe the sights and smell,” said a clearly shaken Rivera.”In addition, we found crates of powders and vials clearly marked with biological toxins such as anthrax and e coli isasterde.”

This past week, Liá EÞeraba at the National Lab, took 8 water samples from the channel east of the Wilderness area, and all 8 samples tested between 1,000 and 3,000 colonies of e coli isasterde per ml. The maximum safe limit of e coli isasterde is 200 colonies per ml. At the time, the source of the virulent bacteria strain was unknown.

Rivera said that the captains of the two ships were questioned separately, and the Guard has pieced together the following facts, which explain many of the recent events that have taken place in Scow Creek. They issued the following statement (in part):

“The ships are independently owned by a private company that flies under no national flag. They have a deep hull and a draft of over 15 feet, which explains the need to have the channel dredged for passage. They also had no locks on their waste systems, in violation of maritime law, meaning that animals and waste products could have easily been discharged in to the waters of the channel, which explains the presence of e coli isasterde.

Both ships were under contract with the Woodhouse Financial Corporation, and were stopping in port in Qúpsóg for payment and import documentation. From there, they were to deliver their cargo to the Fort Terry Animal Disease Research Lab, in exchange for a shipment of firearms, to be returned unloaded at the Governing Club in Qúpsóg. They also admitted to numerous previous trips using smaller vessels that were able to navigate the channel before it was dredged.”

The Fort Terry Lab is a highly secretive military facility operated by the Continental Federation.

A spokesman from the Monarch’s Palace, speaking on the premise of anonymity, stated,

“The Governing Club of Qúpsóg and the Woodhouse Financial Corporation appear to be in League with the Continental Federation in a biological toxins-for-guns exchange, which explains the increased harassment of our people by the ousted Rangers. It does not bode well for the Kingdom in any respect – our physical security or the environment - and I expect a very serious response from the Monarch and Assembly will be forthcoming.”

[Deleted]

The following Dispatch was received at the Palace this morning

Statement from the Šíníqoq Tribal Council on Events in Qúpsóg

It has been the position of this Nation to extend the hand of friendship and respect to all Nations. In so doing, and by turning our focus on our own community, we have survived as a Sovereign People for thousands of years. It is not for light or frivolous reasons that we should stray from this path.

However, recent events that have taken place in the waters to the west have grieved our spirits. Our Sustaining Mother Earth cries out to her children, and we can not be silent.

We weep over the destruction of the waters and lands and fellow creatures.

We have seen the nesting grounds of our Terns destroyed. We have seen the shellfish that have sustained our people laid waste. And now we have seen great ships carrying evil to all of Life in pursuit of Greed and Destruction.

In response,

We call for an end to the Evil being spread in the name of the Governing Club of Cupsogue.

We call for an end to the Greed that is driving the Woodhouse Financial Corporation.

We call for an end to use of our waters to carry Our Mother’s Children to their Torture and Death at Fort Terry.

And, towards those ends, we declare that our People will stand firm with the People of the Kingdom of Scow Creek.

As the Sun Rises on the People of Šíníqoq and Sets on the People of Scow Creek, so shall the Sun above bear witness of this Alliance to Rid our Mother of the Evil dwelling between us.

Uióndánš,
Sachém of The Šíníqoq Nation[/i]

[Deleted]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
03 AUG 2014 SC / 04 AUG 2014 GC

INTERNAL REBELLION IN QÚPSÓG; PROTESTERS SURROUND GOVERNING CLUB

CUPSOGUE VILLAGE, CUPSOGUE: After sparking an international incident with a toxins-for-guns plot, the Governing Club of Cupsogue has now found itself in the middle of a domestic, as well as international crisis.

Some 300 Cupsogue residents marched to the Governing Club this morning, surrounding it and demanding the resignation of the entire governing board. It is believed that all five members of the government are holed up inside the building, which is currently surrounded by angry, placard-wielding residents.

Three days ago, the Scow Creek Coast Guard intercepted two ships containing biological toxins and diseased animals. Documents provided to the press showed that the Woodhouse Financial Corporation, whose five directors also serve as the governing body of the small Cupsogue nation, arranged for the delivery of the cargo to a mainland biochemical lab in exchange for weapons, ostensibly to arm their private security forces known locally as “The Rangers.”

Yesterday, the Šíníqoq Nation issued a statement declaring itself in an alliance with Scow Creek to interrupt the shipments.

Joónen Rubín, a well-known animal rights and community activist, appears to be leading the protest movement. In a prepared written statement to the press, she stated,

“ Ten years ago, the people of Cupsogue welcomed the refugees from Woods Point with open arms, empathizing with their story of having been driven out of Scow Creek. As a nation that values hard work, sound investing, and a conservative approach to wealth preservation, we assumed – wrongly – that our new neighbors from Woods Point were victims of class warfare, and we quickly integrated them into our community, even electing them to office in our Governing Club in the hopes that an infusion of fresh faces would relieve some of the weariness we ourselves had been feeling.

But we now find that we have been hoodwinked by a rapacious cadre of criminals whose only concern is their lust for ill-gotten wealth and expansive control over others.

In ten years, we have watched our independent banks swallowed by the Woodhouse Financial Corporation, our property taxes and mortgage interest rates raised, our property taken by eminent domain, and our people threatened with the power wielded by the Club. At the same time, our beaches have eroded, our single road has deteriorated to the point of impassibility, and now we find our nation’s reputation destroyed through a hideous plot carried out in our name.

We will no longer be financial serfs to the WFC or the Governing Club. We will not stand by idly and be part of ghastly experiments on animals. We demand the immediate resignation and ouster of the entire Board of the Governing Club.”

As an internal and international coalition builds against the Governing Club, they appear to be losing allies on the mainland as well. A spokesman for the Fort Terry Biochemical Research Lab – the ultimate destination for the “Horror” ships, according documents seized by the Scow Creek Coast Guard – denied any knowledge or involvement with the Woodhouse Financial Corporation or the Governing Club.

[Deleted]

Fellow Residents of the Kingdom,

We address you today because of a growing international crisis that has required a strong, deliberate response on the part of your Assembly and your Monarch. Please do not take Our silence over the last few days as an indication of inaction; rather, We have taken, and are about to take, a series of very serious actions to counter the crisis on our Eastern Border.

Ten years ago, the former community of Woods Point sought to destroy and control our Kingdom. From blocking land and sea transport routes, to initiating destructive infrastructure projects, to the now-infamous Burning of the Sedges which led to our Rebellion and establishment as a Kingdom, they sought to change forever the peaceful communities of the Scow Creek Islands Group.

After our victory over them, the Woods Point people left our Kingdom and settled en masse in the neighboring nation of Qúpsóg. Since that time, they have gained control of that nation’s governing and financial structures, revisiting an old pattern on new victims.

And then beginning two weeks ago, a series of actions against Our Kingdom, and indeed, against Humanity, commenced, culminating with the seizure of two of their ships by our Coast Guard, unraveling a ghastly operation.

We have no argument with the people of Qúpsóg . But as against the Government of Qúpsóg, We lodge the following charges:

They have Trespassed on our Sovereign Lands and Waters, destroying productive shellfish beds and seabird nesting grounds;

They have dredged channels in our Kingdom’s waters, creating dangerous, uncharted navigation routes, and dumping thousands of square yards of spoils on our lands;

They have sought out, and contracted with unflagged rogue ships, who have dumped toxic waste into the waters surrounding our two Kingdoms.

They have initiated and executed a plan to transport suffering, diseased animals and devastating biological toxins, to a research lab in the Continental Federation. This was a brazen effort both to amass personal wealth for the Woodhouse Financial Corporation, and to obtain firearms with which to arm their private security forces for use against us.

They have denied the legitimacy of our Kingdom, and sent teams of Rangers to harass our Residents.

Our Kingdom will not idly stand by, and neither will the good people of neighboring lands.

As of this moment, Our Coast Guard has secured the shipping lanes to the West of Qúpsóg, preventing their escape and blockading any aid they might receive from the west and south. At the same time, our allies, the Šíníqóq Nation, have sent their Warrior-Mariners to secure the shipping lanes to the East. A full circle blockade is now in place.

Internally, a citizens rebellion has begun under the able leadership of citizen-soldier Joónen Rubin, and 300 Cupsoguans have surrounded the Governing Club of Qúpsóg. They were joined one hour ago by a flotilla of 30 vessels from our own Kingdom, recruited from the communities of Milburn, Kismet, and Ocean Bay Park, who have been granted letters of marque. These volunteers are providing armed support to the citizen rebellion.

In consideration of these developments, and under the Authority granted to Us in Article IV Section 4 of the Constitution,

We hereby now Make the Following Proclamation:

The Nation of Qúpsóg, including both the land and waters in their entirety, is hereby Annexed by the Kingdom of Scow Creek;

The Assets of the Governing Club of Qúpsóg and the Woodhouse Financial Corporation, as well as the personal assets of their Directors and Officers, are hereby seized by this Kingdom;

The Directors and Officers of the Governing Club of Qúpsóg and the Woodhouse Financial Corporation are hereby banished from the Kingdom of Scow Creek and forbidden re-entry in perpetuity. The Scow Creek Coast Guard will escort them, under guard, to port in the Continental Federation.

The Kingdom of Scow Creek is dedicated to restoring peace and human rights to the lands of Qúpsóg. Towards that end, we pledge:

To immediately grant the rights and privileges held by all Citizens under the Scow Creek Constitution to all residents of Qúpsóg;

To return assets confiscated and held by the Woodhouse Financial Corporation to the people of Qúpsóg;

To provide a Coast Guard presence to protect the residents from aggression and retaliation;

To immediately recognize each of the following four communities in Qúpsóg as Departments entitled to the rights and privileges of all other Departments in the Kingdom: Qúpsóg Dunes, Quóntúq, Qoóg, and Qiánu;

To immediately seat Joónen Rubin as an ad hoc Cabinet Member of the Scow Creek government, and authorize the immediate selection of one Assemblyman per Department, per their own process, to have voice and vote in our Assembly.

We hereby welcome the complete inclusion of the People of Qúpsóg into our Kingdom, and declare that our hand of friendship remains open to the People of the Šíníqóq Nation who have stood by us in this endeavor.

Ís b’í má Réfe – We Will Be Free.

Tunís Qorsa, King Tuathal I
04 AUG 2014 SC