2023 XKI Best Animal Competition (Nominations open NOW!)
Apr 3, 2023 15:33:45 GMT -5
Markanite, Jabberwocky, and 1 more like this
Post by Liberdon on Apr 3, 2023 15:33:45 GMT -5
{Opening Plot}Jabberwocky , Valentian Elysium , and Markanite wander into a derelict convention hall…
Mark, confused, looks at his companions.
“What are you two doing here?”
Val pulls out a letter, covered in suspicious scratches and smelling slightly fishy.
“I got this letter in the mail. It was really odd. There is no return address, and the postman, poor guy, was adamant that it came from Antarctica. But that can’t possibly be right. No one lives in Antarctica.”
Jabber reaches into his surfer shorts and pulls out his own letter, covered in water stains and bearing a thin tear.
“Funny, I got a letter too, though not in the mail. My security alarm went off in the middle of the night on Friday. In my sleep-deprived state, I accidentally hit the panic button, and Lib’s LAPPS surrounded my Bieber Beach House. By the time I straightened the situation out and got to the door, the trespasser was already gone! There weren’t even footprints, only these weird, triangle shaped marks in the sand. I followed them, but they led directly into the ocean! When I returned to my door, I saw this letter sticking out from under my ‘Surf’s Up!’ doormat.”
Mark reveals a similar letter, slightly damp and wrinkled.
“Mine arrived in an even stranger fashion. You see…I was having a party for the Co9 Friday night, and I ordered a custom ice sculpture of myself for the centerpiece. When the sculpture arrived, this letter was sticking out of my—well, not my mouth—but the sculpture me’s mouth! I tried to contact the sculptor, but apparently, he had been arrested the day before for pretending to be an ice sculptor.”
Val wrinkles his brow.
“Well, if you two didn’t send these, then who did?”
Suddenly, a cheerful, overly-exuberant voice booms throughout the empty convention center.
“Welcome to the first ever XKI Animal Lovers Convention! Before we discuss the scheduled activities and panels, I’d like to thank all of you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to attend. You have made this year a record turnout!”
Mark, Val, and Jabber glance around at the vacant room. Crickets can practically be heard chirping in the background.
The voice, oblivious to the irony, continues.
“As mutual animal lovers, we are gathered here today to celebrate these wonderful creatures and all that makes them awesome! Now, as you move throughout the convention hall, please mind where you walk. The snakes have specifically requested that everyone refrain from stepping on their tails. While I’ve had a stern talk with the—ahem—“less-civilized” of our flock, I would still advise you to look out for any suspicious piles of foul-smelling brown material. While it may look like it, I assure you that it is NOT dark chocolate ice cream. Our first panel will be held in the main ballroom and will feature—“
Val interrupts.
“Hang on, you seem to be missing the fact that there are no animals here.”
The voice stops short.
“Oh, yes, that is a…slight problem.”
Mark frowns.
“A slight problem? For a convention themed around animals, I’d imagine it would be a huge problem! Where are all the animals?”
The voice, slightly saddened, lets out a sigh.
“I tried to get them to attend. I really did! I sent out invitations to all the animals, but every single one of them declined for various reasons. Problems kept popping up. The mice wouldn’t come as long as the snakes were invited. The sharks wouldn’t come unless the fish came, and the fish wouldn’t come unless the sharks didn’t come. And don’t even get me started on the dogs and the cats…”
Jabber smiles sympathetically.
“It seems like you’re caught in a bit of a bind. Hey…what if we help you out?”
Mark and Val glare at him as the voice brightens.
“That. Would. Be. FANTASTIC!!! I know just how you can help. As prominent members of the XKI community, you can spread the word about the convention and attract attendees!”
Val, busy counting on his fingers, raises his hand.
“More attendees doesn’t solve the problem of the various attendees fighting with one another, and have you considered that fact that the convention hall isn’t nearly big enough to fit all the animals plus the human attendees?”
The voice saddens once again.
”Oh, yes. That is an issue…”
Mark, deep in thought, suddenly snaps his fingers.
“I’ve got it! I can ask Liberdon to put out a poll asking Islanders for animal attendee nominations. That way we can get an idea of which animals Islanders are most excited to see at the convention. Afterwards, we can use randomized bracket polls to narrow down the attendee pool.”
The voice is now positively beaming.
“Fantastic idea! You should go tell Lib right away. While the polls are running, Val, Jabber, and I’ll work on prepping the convention hall.”
Mark, slightly relieved, hurries out of there. In the background, the voice can be heard instructing Val on how to assemble a 5 million gallon fish tank, while Jabber sullenly picks up a pooper-scooper.
Mark, confused, looks at his companions.
“What are you two doing here?”
Val pulls out a letter, covered in suspicious scratches and smelling slightly fishy.
“I got this letter in the mail. It was really odd. There is no return address, and the postman, poor guy, was adamant that it came from Antarctica. But that can’t possibly be right. No one lives in Antarctica.”
Jabber reaches into his surfer shorts and pulls out his own letter, covered in water stains and bearing a thin tear.
“Funny, I got a letter too, though not in the mail. My security alarm went off in the middle of the night on Friday. In my sleep-deprived state, I accidentally hit the panic button, and Lib’s LAPPS surrounded my Bieber Beach House. By the time I straightened the situation out and got to the door, the trespasser was already gone! There weren’t even footprints, only these weird, triangle shaped marks in the sand. I followed them, but they led directly into the ocean! When I returned to my door, I saw this letter sticking out from under my ‘Surf’s Up!’ doormat.”
Mark reveals a similar letter, slightly damp and wrinkled.
“Mine arrived in an even stranger fashion. You see…I was having a party for the Co9 Friday night, and I ordered a custom ice sculpture of myself for the centerpiece. When the sculpture arrived, this letter was sticking out of my—well, not my mouth—but the sculpture me’s mouth! I tried to contact the sculptor, but apparently, he had been arrested the day before for pretending to be an ice sculptor.”
Val wrinkles his brow.
“Well, if you two didn’t send these, then who did?”
Suddenly, a cheerful, overly-exuberant voice booms throughout the empty convention center.
“Welcome to the first ever XKI Animal Lovers Convention! Before we discuss the scheduled activities and panels, I’d like to thank all of you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to attend. You have made this year a record turnout!”
Mark, Val, and Jabber glance around at the vacant room. Crickets can practically be heard chirping in the background.
The voice, oblivious to the irony, continues.
“As mutual animal lovers, we are gathered here today to celebrate these wonderful creatures and all that makes them awesome! Now, as you move throughout the convention hall, please mind where you walk. The snakes have specifically requested that everyone refrain from stepping on their tails. While I’ve had a stern talk with the—ahem—“less-civilized” of our flock, I would still advise you to look out for any suspicious piles of foul-smelling brown material. While it may look like it, I assure you that it is NOT dark chocolate ice cream. Our first panel will be held in the main ballroom and will feature—“
Val interrupts.
“Hang on, you seem to be missing the fact that there are no animals here.”
The voice stops short.
“Oh, yes, that is a…slight problem.”
Mark frowns.
“A slight problem? For a convention themed around animals, I’d imagine it would be a huge problem! Where are all the animals?”
The voice, slightly saddened, lets out a sigh.
“I tried to get them to attend. I really did! I sent out invitations to all the animals, but every single one of them declined for various reasons. Problems kept popping up. The mice wouldn’t come as long as the snakes were invited. The sharks wouldn’t come unless the fish came, and the fish wouldn’t come unless the sharks didn’t come. And don’t even get me started on the dogs and the cats…”
Jabber smiles sympathetically.
“It seems like you’re caught in a bit of a bind. Hey…what if we help you out?”
Mark and Val glare at him as the voice brightens.
“That. Would. Be. FANTASTIC!!! I know just how you can help. As prominent members of the XKI community, you can spread the word about the convention and attract attendees!”
Val, busy counting on his fingers, raises his hand.
“More attendees doesn’t solve the problem of the various attendees fighting with one another, and have you considered that fact that the convention hall isn’t nearly big enough to fit all the animals plus the human attendees?”
The voice saddens once again.
”Oh, yes. That is an issue…”
Mark, deep in thought, suddenly snaps his fingers.
“I’ve got it! I can ask Liberdon to put out a poll asking Islanders for animal attendee nominations. That way we can get an idea of which animals Islanders are most excited to see at the convention. Afterwards, we can use randomized bracket polls to narrow down the attendee pool.”
The voice is now positively beaming.
“Fantastic idea! You should go tell Lib right away. While the polls are running, Val, Jabber, and I’ll work on prepping the convention hall.”
Mark, slightly relieved, hurries out of there. In the background, the voice can be heard instructing Val on how to assemble a 5 million gallon fish tank, while Jabber sullenly picks up a pooper-scooper.
Attention all Islanders! Nominations for the 2023 XKI Best Animal Competition are now underway!
From now until 12:00 pm CDT on Saturday, April 8th, you may nominate any animal of your choice by posting in the comments below.
You are allowed to nominate up to three animals, though I strongly encourage you to read through the previous nominations so that you do not renominate an animal.
Specific breeds are not allowed. For example, if you nominate a golden retriever and someone else nominates a poodle, both nominations will be considered “dogs.” Please note that there is a difference between breeds and species. If you nominate a gray wolf, that will be counted as a “wolf”, not as a “dog.”
If there is some doubt over whether a nomination is really an “animal,” Islanders are welcome to come to a general consensus on the issue and then veto or approve the disputed nomination.
If you have any comments, questions, or concerns, feel free to post them below or message Liberdon .
Feel free to defend/elaborate on your nominations! Happy nominating!
Current Nominees:
Dragon
Eagle
Penguin
Robin
Puffin
Elephant
Dolphin
Phoenix
Koala
Bearded dragon
Capybara
Leopard
Okapi
Platypus
Unicorn
Cowl
Dog
Egg (TBD)
. And it's also the only bird that knows how to dive and fly, even though it does crash land when flying 😅
