Post by vonskyme on Apr 2, 2010 8:06:08 GMT -5
*Tape begins*
Our glorious leader, Lord Prollington the Third, (the First) has ordered me, Harr von Skyme, to record the definitive history of our mighty Repentantia, from the humble beginnings under his glorious reign to the current powerhouse we have become. As one of his followers from the very beginning, I am proud to have the honour to record this... blah, blah, blah. Thank god he's gone.
Right. I actually am Harr von Skyme, and it is my unfortunate duty to record what that oversized, paranoid, crackpot of a ruler considers history. Perhaps that's not fair, he's actually pretty fit, I suppose. I won't bore you with the civil war that brought him to power (over Lord Prollington the Third, the Second), but rather will begin in the hectic days afterwards.
One of the first things we had to determine was how to organise the country. A few things were obvious - in particular that without at least seeming to be democratic in theory, the chances of us staying independant were fairly slight. Most nations who have fallen under that unfortunate form of mob rule have a tendency to want everyone else to comply. Unfortunately, they're in the majority, so by their rules that means we have to obey. I remember the first heady months well...
*Many years before*
Lord Prollington was clearly nuts. In the final days of the war he had ordered traitors executed by falligrumping (they were pardoned as we didn't know what he meant, and the only person who dared ask was executed by a much more conventional method). Unfortunately, or fortunately if you'd prefer, he was clearly a military genius and a decent politician. He had a good head on his shoulders, when he wasn't busy chasing fairies.
The first time he ever really confided in me was on the issue of how to obtain legitimacy for the regime. He still wore the military uniform at that stage, and was waiting behind his desk when I entered with my suggestions.
"Lord," I began, "As you know we need to at least appear to be democratic, but... well, perhaps it is best put that should we be too generous then it will only be a matter of time before someone takes the public's imagination. I suggest only military officers and land holders can vote."
He looked at me across that massive desk, then shook his head, "No. We must have all people vote. Attendance must be mandatory." I was surprised, and clearly it showed, for he continued, "There is no need for people to vote. But they must be marked as attending. Should they so choose they can take the pre-marked voting cards indicating that they wish to vote for me. Or they can leave them. Their choice."
With that, I had to be content. And with that, we gained 'compulsory' voting.
*****
Shortly after that, we had a couple of incidents which were related to the kitchen. I think the following extract may shed some light on the matter...
*Extract from 'Repentantia Revealed - the makings of a nation, rise of the victorious and cooking guide'*
At the beginning of the radiant rule of Lord Prollington the Third (the First) there was unrest in the culinary populace. Some of the most militant factions insisted that meat was wrong, and that animals must be freed to live their lives to the fullest. Our glorious leader, of course, realised the folly of this position, and instead decided to remove the prior limitations on eating the Quenda, as well as processing anyone who claim eating chickens was wrong into chicken feed, to help correct the balance. Now, to prepare your quenda, simply...
*****
Until next time, enjoy.
(Rather amusingly, I chose the quenda as the national animal due to it foiling a project in university for me. The option to eat it on day two was too good to pass up.)
Our glorious leader, Lord Prollington the Third, (the First) has ordered me, Harr von Skyme, to record the definitive history of our mighty Repentantia, from the humble beginnings under his glorious reign to the current powerhouse we have become. As one of his followers from the very beginning, I am proud to have the honour to record this... blah, blah, blah. Thank god he's gone.
Right. I actually am Harr von Skyme, and it is my unfortunate duty to record what that oversized, paranoid, crackpot of a ruler considers history. Perhaps that's not fair, he's actually pretty fit, I suppose. I won't bore you with the civil war that brought him to power (over Lord Prollington the Third, the Second), but rather will begin in the hectic days afterwards.
One of the first things we had to determine was how to organise the country. A few things were obvious - in particular that without at least seeming to be democratic in theory, the chances of us staying independant were fairly slight. Most nations who have fallen under that unfortunate form of mob rule have a tendency to want everyone else to comply. Unfortunately, they're in the majority, so by their rules that means we have to obey. I remember the first heady months well...
*Many years before*
Lord Prollington was clearly nuts. In the final days of the war he had ordered traitors executed by falligrumping (they were pardoned as we didn't know what he meant, and the only person who dared ask was executed by a much more conventional method). Unfortunately, or fortunately if you'd prefer, he was clearly a military genius and a decent politician. He had a good head on his shoulders, when he wasn't busy chasing fairies.
The first time he ever really confided in me was on the issue of how to obtain legitimacy for the regime. He still wore the military uniform at that stage, and was waiting behind his desk when I entered with my suggestions.
"Lord," I began, "As you know we need to at least appear to be democratic, but... well, perhaps it is best put that should we be too generous then it will only be a matter of time before someone takes the public's imagination. I suggest only military officers and land holders can vote."
He looked at me across that massive desk, then shook his head, "No. We must have all people vote. Attendance must be mandatory." I was surprised, and clearly it showed, for he continued, "There is no need for people to vote. But they must be marked as attending. Should they so choose they can take the pre-marked voting cards indicating that they wish to vote for me. Or they can leave them. Their choice."
With that, I had to be content. And with that, we gained 'compulsory' voting.
*****
Shortly after that, we had a couple of incidents which were related to the kitchen. I think the following extract may shed some light on the matter...
*Extract from 'Repentantia Revealed - the makings of a nation, rise of the victorious and cooking guide'*
At the beginning of the radiant rule of Lord Prollington the Third (the First) there was unrest in the culinary populace. Some of the most militant factions insisted that meat was wrong, and that animals must be freed to live their lives to the fullest. Our glorious leader, of course, realised the folly of this position, and instead decided to remove the prior limitations on eating the Quenda, as well as processing anyone who claim eating chickens was wrong into chicken feed, to help correct the balance. Now, to prepare your quenda, simply...
*****
Until next time, enjoy.
(Rather amusingly, I chose the quenda as the national animal due to it foiling a project in university for me. The option to eat it on day two was too good to pass up.)