Amusing News Stories.

[Cerb]

So I was reading my favorite geek news site today (slashdot.org) and I thought I'd create a thread to share some of their more amusing stories.

This one caught my eye:
Antidepressants may help a lot of people get up in the morning but new research shows they are making shrimp swim into that big bowl of cocktail sauce in the sky. Alex Ford, a marine biologist at the University of Portsmouth, found that shrimp exposed to the antidepressant fluoxetine are 5 times more likely to swim towards light instead of away from it. Shrimp usually swim away from light as it is associated with birds or fishermen.


Share some of yours?

[Free Guns For All]

This is one I heard a few years ago:

In England, a man on life support who had a fairly high chance of survival died overnight at the hospital. At the time, the hospital thought nothing of it. They put another life support patient in that bed, but the next morning they were dead. This happened another three or four times before a doctor realised that the cleaner had been unplugging the life support so he could plug in his vacuum cleaner.

[Echolilia]

Fresh from the top of /.:

"The Pacific Ocean trash dump is twice the size of Texas, or the size of Spain combined with France. The Pacific Vortex as it is sometimes called, is made up of four million tons of Plastic. Now there's a proposal to turn this dump into 'Recycled Island'. The Netherlands Architecture Fund has provided the grant money for the project, and the WHIM architecture firm is conducting the research and design of Recycled Island. One of the three major aims of the project is to clean up the floating trash by recycling it on site. Two, the project would create new land for sustainable habitation complete with its own food sources and energy sources. Lastly, Recycled Island is to be a sea worthy island. While at the moment the project is still more or less a pipe dream, it's great that someone is trying to work out what to do with one of humanity's most bizarre environmental slip ups."

[MinnaCaroline]

This just in from The Onion.com ...

LOS ANGELES—According to a Los Angeles Times survey published Tuesday, an increasing number of Americans believe undocumented immigrants pose a threat to their favored spot on the couch, with many expressing concern that illegal aliens are "actively plotting" to take their seat as early as the next time they get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom. "I've been sitting on this part of the couch for 40 years, and I'll be damned if some foreigner thinks he can sit down right here where my father sat, and my grand≠father before him," survey respondent Earl Lockwood of Tulsa, OK said. "I earned this spot." The poll also found that a majority of Americans support the recently enacted Arizona law requiring immigrants to present proper identification before calling dibs on a particular seat.

[Echolilia]

Note that the Onion is a news parody site (and "not intended for readers under 18 years of age.")

Though occasionally they accidentally get things right, as in this attempt to mock Apple that now is proved quite accurate:
www.theonion.com/video/apple-introduces-revolutionary-new-laptop-with-no,14299/

[MinnaCaroline]

That's actually one of my favorite videos of all time.

[Echolilia]

Just goes to show you can never underestimate Apple.

[Cerb]

Apparently the destruction of the second Death Star has stretched the Galactic Empire's coffers so thin that Lord Vader himself is robbing banks. From the article: "Impotent Rebel Alliance security forces tell Newsday (paywall) that Vader marched into a Chase bank in Setauket around 11:30 a.m. today. Brandishing a completely unnecessary handgun—as he had the power to choke the oxygen out every teller's throat—the fallen Jedi demanded cash."

Originally posted here

[Free Guns For All]

Err, hate to complain, but Darth Vader died before the second Death Star blew up. Just sayin'.

[Echolilia]

See, that's what the media wants you to think.

[Free Guns For All]

No, I actually know that.

[Echolilia]

Saw it in person, did you?

[Biblical Importance]

[Echolilia]

Han shot first.

[Free Guns For All]

Greedo shot first, he's just a lousy aim.

[Echolilia]

Oracle sues Google for using Java