10KI Darwin Awards - The Contest

[Shelter from the Storm]

I have been asked to judge a contest in which competitors write their own wacky death scenarios. I will then deliberate very carefully, or flip a coin (or even accept a few bribes) and then select a winner.

Good luck!

[Free Guns For All]

I swear, it's fine for me to hold the gun to my head. The safety is on. I'll even prove it by pulling the trigger...

[Woonsocket]

Oooh! I declare Gunny the winner!

[Boltor]

Yup, I second that!

[HumanSanity]

I ate so many Tacos (ate all of mine and stole all of the tacos from Aersoldorf and Anartonia and Boltor and Grub and Echo) that I had a really bad stomach ache and died (did I mention Shelter's Tacos and Woon's Tacos and Thanya's Tacos and 10KI Investment Corporation's Tacos).

[Anartonia]

That's kind of similar to that guy who died when his bladder burst.

[Woonsocket]

Tycho Brahe?

[Woonsocket]

Aug 14, 2011 6:06:31 GMT -5 Woonsocket said:

Oooh! I declare Gunny the winner!

This by the way is an entry into the contest. I figure anyone who usurps the Mayor is certain to die in a creative and thoroughly unpleasant way. It would certainly be a stupid thing to do, in a thread he created - so it should qualify.

[Aersoldorf]

Aersoldorf died of dehydration after a severe bout of spam dysentery. Who knew spraying that stuff everywhere would have such dire consequenses.

[Anartonia]

Anar went up to Cerb and asked if he had a spare chainsaw. Cerb had one, all right...

[Byzesion]

Byzesion blew himself up after trying to build a flamethrower out of a propane tank, a gas station pump handle, a rubber hose, and a lighter.

[Aersoldorf]

I thought you were going to die in a chainsaw juggling accident Anar

[Anartonia]

I might change it later, but I think the one I already put up is fine.

[Woonsocket]

Kurdazistan pestered Grub. Kurdy is now dead to 10KI. That was pretty f**king stupid...

[Shelter from the Storm]

Any more entries?

[Aersoldorf]

I don't know but I'm willing to concede to Kurd. That was the epitomy of stupidity

[HumanSanity]

Aug 16, 2011 19:42:08 GMT -5 Woonsocket said:

Kurdazistan pestered Grub. Kurdy is now dead to 10KI. That was pretty f**king stupid...

Are you at liberty to tell us exactly what happened?

[Woonsocket]

Not any more than that. The lesson is, don't pester the Founder.

[Free Guns For All]

RIP Boltor. After rolling his eyes at Chuck Norris, authorities have been searching tirelessly to find all the pieces of his body. Only his head has been found, above Chuck's fireplace.

[Woonsocket]

[Aersoldorf]

nice one guys

[Woonsocket]

Glad you approve. If you didn't, well, that would be one more stupid way to die...

[Anartonia]

I disapprove just for the sake of it, and let me remind you that I'm the one with a chainsaw and you're the hunk of meat.

[Aersoldorf]

I'll have a little something off the shoulder

[Byzesion]

I still stand by blowing myself up with a homemade flamethrower.

[Aersoldorf]

you didn't like spam dysentery?

[Anartonia]

It was good, but too nonsensical.

[Shelter from the Storm]

Any more entries?

[Anartonia]

Probably no more from me.

[Fnoskia]

As a professional bear shark wrangler, I know from first hand knowledge that, though fearsome looking, the bear shark is nothing more than a big cuddly animal. Let me prove it by covering myself in this scrumptious meat sauce to prove how docile and non-aggressive they really are...