Gluuland Morals (of 2006)

[Gluuland]

Ladies and Gentlemen! I herby open the new line-up of 2006 morals!!!

New stories released whenever im not feeling lazy (which is very rare)
ALL stories are meant to be completely stupid, but the morals are the kind that have existed in the 10k islands for generations......(well, actually they only existed cus i made them up, but they're still good...)

[Gluuland]

From our 2005 archives....
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THE PYRO FIDDLER.......

Fiddler: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA BURN BURN BURN!!!!!!!
Cook: How would you like your steak, sir?
Fiddler: BURN BURN BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cook: *takes burnt steak and puts it on the fiddler's plate*
Fiddler: MWAHAHAHAHAHA *chokes on burnt steak*

Moral: Never say "BURN BURN BURN!!!!" like a pyro in front of a cook who is cooking steak......
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THE TACO PAR-TAY

BOO: Free tacos!
Everyone: tacos..........mmmmmmmmm *stampede to buffet*
GPN: *drops dish*
Glu: WHY YOU LITTLE!!!!!!!
TSNA: "Mod time, stay cool......"
Boo: Primium Tacos, Extra cheese!
GPN: *takes taco and throws it at glu...*
Glu: (doesnt know who made the taco) YUM! *eats taco*
*drops to floor sleeping from boredom of only getting 1 taco..*

Moral: Be careful about which taco you eat because it might not have ENOUGH cheese......
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PIE

person#1: mmmmmmmmm, pie
person#2: mmmmmmmmm, pie
person#3: mmmmmmmmm, pie
person#4: mmmmmmmmm, pie
person#5: mmmmmmmmm, pie
person#6: mmmmmmmmm, pie
person#7 *throws a cherry pie at person#3*(who is allergic to cherry pie)
medic: *forcefeeds person#3 with 59 extra cheesy tacos until he is better....

Moral: tacos can cure just about anything if you add the right amount of cheese. (If you want to know about cheese & tacos, look at the story "The TACO Par-tay)
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The Forum Swede

Forum Swede: You know, i think that the best sandwich is the the kind that has a good toating.......Dont you think?
Sandwich Man: ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
Forum Swede: Hey, do you have any purplecheese?
Sandwich Man: ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
Forum Swede: You know, you're a real talker.... Have you ever tried a jello sandwich?
Sandwich Man: *big snore*
Forum Swede: yessim, they're real good......
Sandwich Man: *falls to ground.....*
Forum Swede: Well, nice talking to you.....Ill expect some purple cheese tomorrow...........

Moral: NORMAL sandwich men dont have purple cheese, so dont ask for it......(especially if they're sleeping....)
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Liberal v. Conservative

Liberal: LEFT!
Conservative: RIGHT!
Liberal: TAXES!
Conservative: TAX CUTS!
Liberal: KERRY!
Conservative: BUSH!
Liberal: CHOICE!
Conservative: LIFE!
Liberal: KETCHUP!
Conservative: CHEESE!
Forum Swede: TACOS!
Unfortunate Person(who gets caught in the middle): OW, MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moral: Dont be the unfortunate person who gets caught in the middle of a fight on whether to make a cheese or ketchup taco.
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SPAM

Innocent Little Kid: SPAM
Innocent Little Kid: SPAM
Innocent Little Kid: SPAM
Innocent Little Kid: SPAM
Innocent Little Kid: SPAM
Innocent Little Kid: SPAM
Innocent Little Kid: SPAM
Moderator: ARGH! *takes all of little kid's tacos*

Moral: Mods do everything they can to give our kids a healthy, spam free environment.....(but it may cost a few tacos)
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"KEEP COOL"

Mod: ahhhhh *eats taco* --->
Forum Swede: I WANT MY TACO NOW!
Mod: "keep cool"
Glu: NOOOOOO, NOT MORE DISHES!!!!!!!!!!!
Mod: "keep cool"
GPN: CONSERVATIVE!
Boo: LIBERAL! (+istical)
Mod: "keep cool"
N.O.: USE THE DICTIONARY!
Mod: "keep cool"
Glu: *throws ice at GPN*
Mod: "keep cool"

Moral: Mods tend to say "keep cool" alot, especially when eating a mod-ish taco.....
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FLEEB DAY

Person #1: Happy Fleeb Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Person #2: Happy Fleeb Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Person #3: Happy Fleeb Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Person #4: Happy Fleeb Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Person #5: Happy Fleeb Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Person #6: Happy Fleeb Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Person #7: HaPPy fLEeb dAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moral: person #7's caps lock is going wack......
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EXAMS! *dun dun dun*

DAY 1
Teacher: *mumbles*
Student #1: i think he's talking about exams....
Student #2: EXAMS!?
*dun dun dun*
Teacher: Remember *mumble* to study the equation *mumble* of hydroionic-y *mumble* atoms......
Student#1: When did we learn those!?
Teacher: SILENCE! *mumbles* kids these days.... *mumbles*
Student #2: we're toast.....
Teacher: YES YOU ARE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DAY 2
Teacher: i trust you're all studying! *evil grin*
Student #1: Did you study?
Student #2: i couldnt find anything to study......
Teacher: Oh, and did i say that there will be a 642 line essay on whompdish throwing ninja monkeys?
*dun dun dun*
Student #1: were not gonna survive this......
Teacher: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

DAY 3 (EXAM DAY *dun dun dun*)
Teacher: You have 2 hours *mumbles*
(2 hours later)
......................
.......................
.....................
(2 months later)
..................
....................
....................
(2 years later)
Teacher: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU WILL NEVER REACH THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moral: this teacher wasnt very good, as the teacher didnt even know that the proper term is "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA",
not "BWAHAHAHAHAHA"...........
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Drought

Slum #1: ITS SO HOT, I'M GUNNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!
Slum #2: SHUT UP! KEEP FANNING!
Slum #1: I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Slum #2: SHUT UP! KEEP FANNING!!!
Slum #1: *faints*
Slum #2: BROKEN AGAIN! I THOUGHT THERE WAS A GUARANTEE!!!!!!!!!!
Slum #1: *sneaks off to steal slum #2's margaritas while he is yelling*
Slum #2: ITS SO HOT, I'M GUNNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Slum #3: SHUT UP! KEEP FANNING!

Moral: Watch for ninja monkeys when trying to steal margaritas, or you'll end up fanning someone......
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Smashing Titles! (the moral)

TSNA: The Sensitive New Age Dictator Nicolas the...
Forum Swede: *cuts off introduction* Dos Aneone hav a sandwich?
TSNA: NO ONE CUTS OFF A SMASHING TITLE!!!
Forum Swede: smashing?
TSNA: (with enthusiasm) SMASHING, BRILLIANT, MAGNIFICENT, INGENIOUS, UNSURPASSABLE, PERFECT!!!!
Forum Swede: Can I hav one?
TSNA: AGAIN!?
Forum Swede: i lik fish womping beter.....
TSNA: *smashes dish in frustration*
Glu: HEY! *smashes title*
Forum Swede: Eh?

Moral: Do not test the patience of The Sensitive New Age Dictator Nicholas the Magnificant, the Most Benevolently Evil, the Great Tamer of the Ninja-Monkeys and He Who Thinks of Really Smashing Titles, or you will find yourself being chased by hoards of ninja monkeys....
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Viviglate v. Vigilante?

Doctor (teaching class): Now, as you can see, one cuts right here.... *points to diagram with teloscopic pointer*
Skintight-suit wearing crime stopper that has an incurable case of the stutters: *walks in* Am i-i l-lat-te fo-or the p-p-pparty? I n-need t-t-tacos....
Doctor: Ah, this must be one of the "dolphin rehabilitation team" members....
Skintight-suit wearing crime stopper that has an incurable case of the stutters: D-d-dolphins? I-i thought that that t-there w-were m-mad scientists heere wh-ho were h-hogging all the t-t-tacos and p-p-puppies?
Doctor: No, this is a course in Vivigilante....
Skintight-suit wearing crime stopper that has an incurable case of the stutters: V-vivigil-lante?
Doctor: no, Vivigilante!
Skintight-suit wearing crime stopper that has an incurable case of the stutters: I-Is th-that th-the t-t-taco hoggger;s n-name?
Doctor: no, its elegant vivisection.....
*lecturees laugh*
Skintight-suit wearing crime stopper that has an incurable case of the stutters:The t-t-tacos! N-nooooooooooooooooo! *dives toward projection screen* I-i g-g-got em'!
Forum Sweede: *walks in* Sandwiches anyone?

Moral: According to the New Coulgetar Dictionary, a Viviglante is and "elegant vivisection".... For someone who only thinks about tacos, it might mean something else.......
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Einsteinium

Glu: "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours. That's relativity.
-Albert Einstein."
Sinn: Thats a good quotation. lol. Find more!
Glu: ""You see, a telegraph is a kind of very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates the same way: you send signals here, and they recieve them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
-Albert Einstein"
Otupia: yea i think glu has been hitting the crackpipe
jk :-P
Glu: "What if only two thinings are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.... Im not sure about the former...
-Albert Einstein"
Otupia: What if glu stopped quoting Einstein?
*silence*

Moral: If you knew why the title of this moral had an "ium" in it, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-adapted quote from einstein
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[Gluuland]

***

[Gluuland]

Morals this year may be in a story format instead of the traditional Person1: Person 2: format...

[Sinn Féin's Ireland]

I cant wait to hear some. Are we still able to contribute to the story though?

[Gluuland]

Yea, sure...
Best pm them..

[Sinn Féin's Ireland]

Alright then. When is the next moral to be posted?

[Gluuland]

Weekend... Maybe....

[Sinn Féin's Ireland]

I shall wait with baited breath

[Gluuland]

As shall TSNA...

[Sinn Féin's Ireland]

I'm sure....is that some kind of innuendo or something? Not that i understand it...but i'm wary of those eyes.

[Gluuland]

patience is a virtue....

[Sinn Féin's Ireland]

Is that supposed to be a moral....

[Gluuland]

lol, no...
thats what i though after posting it....

[Sinn Féin's Ireland]

When is the first moral comign out? You do realise that i live my existance using your morals...so dont go misleading me.

[Ishkabibber]

Gluu, any updates here forthcoming? ? ? hmmm?

[Sinn Féin's Ireland]

Indeed. Ah no wait, didnt the people vote for no more morals at the end of '05!!? Naa, surely you wouldnt allow that to hinder any new morals.

[TheSensitiveNewAge]

Hey, remember the original Morals of Gluuland thread is now in the Favorite Threads section to shine forever in glory.

[Echolilia]

More morals.